not ours to keep

not ours to keep

We only had 5 days of 2017 with you before you left us to the other side of the beautiful world.

As unexpected as things could be, this is not something I'd thought would happen. Ever.
I ached. For you, for your mum, your dad, and everyone in the family whose life you'd been a part of.

The trip back home in Nov 2016 which I dreaded much, became the most 'unregrettable' trip as I saw you for the last time.

Thanks for the wonderful 714 days.
Watched you grow from a grumpy-looking baby to a beautiful and adorable toddler.
Thanks for the wake up call, reminding us to appreciate everyone around us as tomorrow might not come.
Thanks for the lesson you gave us, so we know what to do better next time.
Thanks for having me in your life and allowing me to be in yours.

To those who thought losing a niece was easy, wait till you have one whom you love and care like she was your daughter.
To the few who felt my pain, thanks for the understanding texts and for crying with me.
Thanks for being there in hiding - that's just what I needed.

To my little angel, you will be missed.
Do visit my dreams every now and then, till we meet again.

This never made it to you.
And shall be passed on to the next person who could use it.

three weeks

so much can happen

We don't normally notice the changes in and around us because they happen gradually that they're unnoticeable.

The same street,
The same tree,
The same people,
The nails,
The pimples,
All look the same every day.

But if you were to recall, a couple of weeks ago...perhaps...

The new restaurant wasn't there,
The tree was green but now it's orange,
A different barista made your coffee,
Your nails were 3mm shorter,
The bloody pimples weren't there.

These are the little changes we fail to notice on a daily basis until they become apparent or until we lose them for good.

Come to think of it, what difference can three weeks make?
And how much can you discover or learn in three weeks?

DAMN A LOT.

In three weeks...

- You spend 70% less time on texting than before.
- Some people left the company and you won't see them any more.
- Banana somewhat causes minor allergic reaction.
- Spicy food must now be taken in moderation.
- You no longer stay up past 12am.
- A friend left the country for good. You'll soon be 7400 miles apart.
- Your music playlist went through an overhaul.
- Half bottle of wine won't affect your ability to walk in a straight line.
- Merlot is a better preference than Shiraz when it comes to red.
- You kinda know now why you never liked kissing.
- You (kinda) saw what you truly want out of a man.
- Loving what you do is rather important especially if you're not doing what you love.
- It's important to look good for yourself and the people you surround yourself with.
- The F-word is contagious. Use with caution.
- The taste of whiskey-coke brings back memories of when you were 18, when Chivas started becoming part of your life dictionary.
- Good scotch brings back memories of when your Dad woke up one morning to find his bottle of Blue Label empty and Grandma's response was 'you didn't share it with me'.
- Be a person who will be missed, who brings positive impact to people's lives, and whose absence will make the heart grow fonder.
- Never get mad at people and point fingers before understanding what's happening on their side of the world.
- Know what you're worth and settle for nothing less than what your deserve.

Three weeks...

...so short yet so long.

For all that happened and didn't happen, there are greater reasons behind them, I believe.

farewell

a hard goodbye deserves a smile because it happened, 

not because it ended

Got to the office at 10am yesterday.
Had a quick breakfast, checked emails, and calendar.
There was a meeting invitation for 'Derek's farewell presentation' at 11am.

His reaction to the invitation was Do we really need this? Are you people trying to embarrass me on my last day? Wanna see me tear up?

Ann told him to bring a box of tissues with him. Lol. How supportive is that?

I thought he was joking about tearing.
He has always been the rational, calm, and no-worries kinda person. The last thing I'd expect from him is being emotional.

By the time I sent out two emails, it's 11am. Time for the presentation. He went into the boardroom with a box of tissues. Lol.

screen showing how he looks like in review meetings - where engineers get grilled

He's leaving Sydney for good and also resigned from the company he has worked for for 30 years.

All for the sake of his passion in engineering - to make things happen. He's going to work on a project to put a $2 billion pounds tunnel under the renown Stonehenge site.

He said if not because of the project, he would not have made the decision to leave Sydney. The last 1 year had been the best 1 year of his life. And he'll definitely be back in the future.

And he started tearing...........omg!
Haha.

Only so far written by half the office and it's already 80% filled.

The A3 farewell card. Not the typical 'All the best and good luck' wishes. The long messages show just how much he means to us :(

After the presentation, he spent a few mins on his own in the boardroom to straighten up. Haha.

At 2pm, he decided to go for drinks as he couldn't concentrate while being emotional.
He told me to join him if I want to, whenever.
I couldn't concentrate either. There's always Monday to do all the works isn't it? Lol.
So I went down to join him and Ann.

He told me when he first decided to come to Sydney, his brother-in-law warned him that Sydney is the place on earth where once you step foot on, it's hard for you to leave.
He didn't believe him.
Now that he needs to leave, he couldn't agree more.
The weather, the city, the people, the neighbourhood, the blue skies, the culture, the simplicity, and so much more...
He is leaving with a heavy heart.

He was the person who interviewed me for my role, hence was the first person I met from the company.
He taught me to love what I do and do it well.
He told me to be great at what we do and be proud of it.
He bought me a plant to 'green' up my desk.

When I left the farewell party that night, his last words for me were, 'You be good' in which I replied, 'I will.'

It was a short 12 months encounter but a very memorable one.

Thanks for being a part of my career journey. You will be missed.

a little surprise

life is full of surprises

My office plant was badly injured in a tragic accident last month. Lol.

After the accident, I left it die a slow death. 

About a week after the accident, I found one of its leaves still green and healthy.

I threw the dead plant and kept the green leaf in the pot by the window.

Days later, the admin discovered my 'leaf' and questioned about the plant.

I told her I accidentally killed it, hopefully the leaf would grow into something.

Days later, another accident happened. The pot toppled and I lost even the last piece of leaf. Hahahhha.

Came in to work today and saw a brand new baby in the pot. 

What a surprise.

I asked the admin where did this come from?

She said 'maybe it's from the leaf you 'planted'.'

Lol.

She wouldn't admit it's from her. 

Whoever it is, thanks anyway.

happiness is...

...to love and be loved 

When all you need is name the food... 

And you get them fresh out of the kitchen.

Baking is patience, hobby, passion, time, skill, luck, courage (to fail), and love in a mixing bowl.

And so much hassle to wash and clean after that! Feel so sorry.

I have to be careful with what I wish for next time around. 

choc chip cookies

matcha pineapple tart

matcha souffle

Sometimes being single also means that friends will shower you with more love to the extent that you don't need a prince to be treated like a princess. 

Thank you for loving me. 

be nice. be considerate.

it's the thought that matters

Went to The Missing Piece at Macquarie Centre for the second time.

The first time I had the Hashtag, it was juicy.

This time around, it was dry.

Overall, the food's okay.

Their cronuts were good.

Love the mocha!

$7 cronut

The table next to ours happened to order the same food as us.

The waiter mixed up the orders and sent our food to the next table so we had to wait longer to get served.

Though we didn't make a fuss out of it, when we were paying at the counter, the lady gave us a little token of apology.

Very sweet of them :)

Thanks for the free cronut, we certainly didn't expect it.

Little gesture like this tells us that nice people will be surrounded by even nicer people. So we should always be nice. Haha. 

Perhaps our willingness to forgive makes them feel more apologetic and all the more to be nice to us.

sweet apology

the free-of-charge cronut

On the other hand, at the carpark, someone decided to be a d**khead.
Car too posh that it needs more than a metre space from other cars?
This is as bad as when an 'able' passenger parks on a disabled parking spot.
He was lucky that there are less uncivilised people in this suburb that his car would be left unharmed.

the yellow writing says: you're a f**king tosser

This is when it's handy to have pen and paper in the bag. Hahaha.

Hope he improves his parking skills next time around.

1 extra spot in the carpark does make a lot of difference, dude!

never burn bridges

keep bridges well

no river will only be crossed once in life

I have to admit that I've been blessed with helpful colleagues and seniors in my previous job.
Of course, they were a few nasty ones but they're not worth to be mentioned.

Those who helped me grow.
Those who inspired me to think and solve problems like an engineer.
Those who taught me to be tough.
Those who covered my ass when there were holes in my pants.
Those who helped justify my sickies to the boss when I wasn't really sick - just sick of work.
Those who came up with excuses for me when I decided to 'work-from-home'.
Those who shared their experience unconditionally.
Those who shared knowledge on investment, insurance, tax return, etc.
Those who served as my talking encyclopedia, allowing me to be reliant on them for quick answers.
Those who taught me to save on household bills.
Those who made working hours seem short and fun.

I miss them all!

Everyone who has asked about my new job - family, friends, ex-colleagues - would have heard stories about my current incompetent team leader.

While family and friends provide a pair of listening ears, a pair of reading eyes, and some words of wisdoms, ex-colleagues have come about with job opportunities for me.

Each time I speak to my ex-senior, he'd ask if I'd like to return to the company.
The answer is always No. Haha. I can't see myself turning back to the path I left behind.
Though I really miss working with them, the key is to advance and not look back.

A senior I've worked with in a joint venture project has also told me about job opportunities in his company. I've missed the Linkedin message until 2 months later. Woops...

Recently, another ex-senior has informed me of a job opening in his company. I've decided to try my luck this time.
It's not a guarantee that grass will be greener on the other side, but where I am now, the grass isn't any greener either. I've got nothing to lose.

People say, wherever you go, never burn bridges.

My experience proves that any river would be crossed more than once in life.
Keep the bridges and keep them well, so no repair is required when you need to cross that particular river again.

randomness

be naturally random

Yesterday, the admin very randomly asked if I know who Coco Chanel is.

I said yes.

I thought she was going to say something along the lines of 'you are what you look'.

She then read out loud to me.

'Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.'

I quickly took a look at my attire.

Ok. I don't think I'm dressing shabbily. At least not today. Haha. But I shall bear this quote in mind.

Today, I went to her to take a photo of the Coco Chanel quote.
It was already in the bin.
She is someone who keeps no rubbish and deals with no shit.
Someone who dumps things (and emotions) easily. The good thing is she forgets them easily too.

She then told me today's quote was rubbish but Monday's is meaningful.
I couldn't agree more. :)

Around tea time, I heard minor explosions from the kitchen.
A suspicious blue packet was popping in the microwave oven.
It was her and her randomness again.
She said when she ordered milk this morning, she came across popcorns and decided to add them into the cart.
Suddenly, the office smelled like a cinema. Hehe.

Things won't be the same without her in the office. 

I like randomness.

#bestchristmasever

it's not anything but the company that matters.

I always dread going to Melbourne due to various reasons - the harsh weather, the hook-turns, the unfamiliarity, etc. It's about time I pay Melbourne a visit as it has been 2 years since my last trip there for Miss Petite's wedding.

One day, out of a random conversation, I told Miss Petite that I shall pay her a visit if she's around during xmas. After months of thinking, she decided to stay in town for xmas.

So I immediately got my tickets booked (1.5 month before the trip) at about $200 via Jetstar. A pretty decent price for a festive season (in my opinion). The most expensive Melbourne tickets I've paid before were $400 return (plus $70 for missing the flight back because we went to Miss Marple's for scones and couldn't get to the airport in time). Lol.

This xmas was one of the most memorable things that happened in 2015.
People say when you're happy, time passes quickly. It sure does.
I needed a couple of days to recollect my memories as I lost track of time over the xmas weekend. Hehe.

On Christmas day...

Brunch by Miss Petite and husband.

Coconut chia seed pudding with blueberry, strawberry, and roasted almond by Miss Petite

It's my first time trying chia seed pudding. 

A simple combination, beautifully presented, and healthy too.

Though I'm not a fan of almond, coconut, and strawberry, they kinda compliment one another that the ingredients don't stand out on their own. They mixed well.
It's probably the healthiest food for the rest of the weekend. Haha.

Next is the savoury crepe.

It's so juicy and yummy!!!

Crepe in the making

Traditional crepe with egg, spinach, ham. and cheese by Petite's Husband.

And then, we had some matcha shortbread cookies by Miss Petite.

Irresistibly tasty with slight hint of bitterness. 

Recipe here >>> Matcha Shortbread Cookies by Miss Petite

After that, off we packed and went to the Chua's.

The huge and overly-friendly Miss Zoe

First thing at the Chua's is always to get pass the Zoe Test.

She welcomes literally anyone to her house and loves jumping at people, it's kinda scary considering she's at the height of my thighs and she weighs 20 kg.

Her tail is like a whip and it hurts if she happens to step on you. The weight on each foot is probably 5 kg?

Her face is bigger than Miss Petite's! Lol.

They say 'she's huge but she doesn't know she's huge'. Hence, she thinks it's okay to jump on people.

She's like the desperate friend at school who everyone avoids. Haha.

She tends to get emo after being ignored by people. 

Poor girl. 

After all, she just wanted to be friends. 

After freaking out a few times, I got used to her friendliness and appreciated her presence. 

Kinda miss her now.

We spent the whole afternoon sipping wine and helping Ann out with the cooking and preparation.

2 bottles down before dinner time.

Table setting designed by Ann

Menu for the night - took 3 days to prepare the food.
All thanks to Ann, the head chef.

The entrée

The mains and sides.
#bestturkeyever

The dinner was so scrumptious that everyone over-ate and had no room for dessert.

We took a break for present-exchange while allowing digestion.

3 out of 10 presents involved whiskey glasses - what an alcoholic bunch of people (in a good way I mean). 

It simply means they know each other too well.

I'd say all the presents are pretty practical, useful, and thoughtful. Bought with much thought and consideration.

Warm xmas tree

After present-exchange, back to more food, followed by dessert.

Raspberry and cream ice-cream with chocolate truffle-coated popcorn, and
freeze dried and fresh raspberries by Miss Petite's husband.
All ingredients from Burch and Purchese except fresh berries.

There were much leftovers so we had the same feast for dinner the next day.

Not forgetting wine, wine, wine, and more wine.

Thanks to Ann for all her effort despite suffering from sore wrists. Rest well and hope they get better and better.

Thanks for the wine too. My next trip over, I shall bring some Sydney wines along.

And the feasting continues...Belle's Hot Chicken

Belle's was the last meal before heading back to Sydney.

I guess I gained 2 kilos in 4 days - compensating for the losses I had over the past couple of months. 

Out of this trip I found that...

- Melb can be warm despite it's uncooperative weather.

- No matter what you do and where you are, it's the company that matters.

- What used to be bad could become good, and vice versa.

- It's great to know there's a 2nd home in Australia, 10 hours drive or 1 hour flight away.

- Common interests play a big role in bringing people close together.

- Being in the same stage of life makes it easier to connect with people. It explains why sometimes, you may not be able to click with people you've known for years but able to click with strangers you just met. 

- I learned some new terminologies: Flambé, Chimichurri, and Chimichanga.

- Friends are the closest 'family' when families aren't around.

For who-knows-how-long, I've been telling Miss Petite that I shall visit Melb 'soon' but it didn't happen - not for once. I finally fulfilled my 'promises'. Haha. 

Thanks for having me over, giving me a cozy bedroom - new carpet, nicely-made bed, and even towel! Not forgetting Miss Michie who always welcomes us at the entrance, so awwwwwwww.

My second bedroom in Australia

This is by far the #bestchristmasever as agreed by all of us.
What a tremendous closure to 2015.
I'm truly blessed.

a good listener

blessed to have you

Out of randomness...

From a friend who has always been there to entertain my utter randomness, though I may not do the same in return for lame reasons like 'too caught up with work'.

A good listener...that's all she asks for.
It explains why she's one herself as this is what she thinks a friend should offer.
I could have done a better job if not for all the other priorities I've put before her.
I've understood that it's the willingness to spare time for each other and accept the differences in each other's priorities that make every relationship work.

While I work on finding a balance in my life priorities, thanks for being the patient one.
For all you know, you have never dropped out of my priority list.
Just that I've procrastinated in producing a balanced list.

We are under-utilising each other. If not for the distance, we could be of more use to one another. I'll make sure to use you more often and in more ways - not just the eyes and a companion in Msia - and be ready to be used by you.

Thanks for always sparing me your eyes, reading my lengthy texts on boring repetitive stories - work, colleague, friends, flatmate, etc. I wish I have more to share especially on the 'husband' topics, cos that's what you've been hoping for. While that hasn't happened yet, I know your eyes are always actively searching on behalf of me whether I like it or not. Lol. It's hard to get mad when you're just being you, xoxo.

Thanks for all the times you try so hard to squeeze into my calendar whenever I'm back in Msia. Hahaha. I really mean THANKS okay, don't roll your eyes. You're probably the next most excited person after my sisters, which is the reason why I'll always have time for you when I'm back.

Thanks for all the food-hunting adventures, though they are mostly to satisfy your cravings rather than mine. Hahaha. No matter how much cash I bring with me, you always have a way to over-order and leave me bloated, out of cash, and gain 2kg overnight! For all the times I don't have enough cash with me, you're always my boss - I'm so sorry but I'm more a 'credit' than a 'cash' person. I'll ensure to do a better job in controlling your greed for food.

Thanks for all the times you say things straight to my face. It's just so you and I love you!
Thanks for all the birthday cakes you've ever made/designed/bought for me - from a hummingbird to ice-cream to Pandora. Make me a KitKat M&Ms next, please? Hehehe.

Thanks for being a friend, twin sister, matchmaker, food-decider...

Thanks for so so so much more.

Love you always, Birdie!

not be taken for granted

be nice and kind

to those who deserves it

It happens all the time...
When you be all nice and kind, people take you granted.
They forget how hard it is to meet a nice and kind person in this harsh world.
They thought it's easy because they've met you.
They test your patience and assume you're here to stay and that your kindness is bottomless.
Then it becomes, the person nicest to them is not the person they're nicest to.
The person who will be there for them is not the person they'll be there for - any time anywhere.

Same goes to my dear flatmate.
When she told me her birthday's coming and that no one's celebrating with her, I bought her a cake.
When she told me she's suffering from some kind of anxiety, I thought I should give her a break and endure the messy kitchen and clean after her.
Then she brought her bf home, over and over again - ignoring the 'No BF' rules, as if it's not valid.
Then her bf kept complaining about the summer heat and turned on the aircond when a fan could have done a good job.
Then he did his week laundry and used dryer when the outdoor heat could have dried his clothes in 30 mins.
Then he cooked and messed up the kitchen.
Then they played hide and seek by 'pretending' to leave the place every night, but sneaked in 2 hours later as if I was dumb and wouldn't know he's back in the house.

I finally had enough of these. It's driving me nuts.
I sent her a text msg telling her that I know he has been sleeping over and reminding her the 'No BF' rule still applies.
It's not the best thing to type for a text.
It's my first ever flatmate 'confrontation' in 8 years.
I hope she keeps the reminder fresh in her head so I won't have to type another text like this.

Why do people have to take people for granted and force people to not be nice any more?

"the person nicest to them is not the person they're nicest to"

What happens to "What goes around comes around"?

no rush

stand still, once awhile

Everything was fine with the transport this morning.
No missed buses.
No missed train.
No long waiting time.
Except, I missed the stop.
Lol.
Didn't even realise it until 5 mins later.
Hopped off at the next stop, Chatswood.

While everyone's hurrying through the hustle and bustle at the platform to get to the escalator, one very 'calm' soul got onto it first.
Completely blocked out the human traffic on the escalator.
Ahhhhhh to cry or to laugh?? Omg...

Hello, Buddy. Are you a human-traffic controller on escalators?

Oh well... I guess I could wait.

What's 20 secs compared to the 10 mins for missing the stop?

This is the most unexpected 'delay' ever.

Thanks Buddy, for slowing my momentum down.

It's the first time I actually stood still on an escalator during the morning peak. Lol.

A simple act of showing all of us how to take it easy, don't rush, stay calm, and be patient. Haha.

my dear sister

blessed to have sisters

These days, it's hard to find travel mate.
Perhaps the places I want to go are not appealing to many - India, Myanmar, Nepal.

Shopping
Food-hunting
Spa and massage
Luxurious hotel or homey Airbnb
High tech world-class transportation

In exchange for...

Dusts
Dirty food
Polluted city
Dodgy motel
Traffic jam
Charcoal pills
And immeasurable life experience, which can never be 'shared' on Facebook or 'posted' on Instagram.
Sadly, if it can't be 'seen', it won't be popular.

The few who might be interested are in Msia and Singapore, with different holiday periods it's hard to get a mutual period and length of travel.

After repeating (as usual) a few times to my sis about not being able to find travel mates to Myanmar, I think she had enough of listening to the same whinge over and over again.

Despite always nagging me for travelling to ulu places - end up with food-poisoning and had to visit the local hospital, out of contact for a few days due to bad reception, altitude sickness, delayed flights, etc. - she signed up as my Myanmar travel mate.

Haha. You're the best!

I know I'm sometimes (maybe always) unpredictable, random, out of the norm, lazy in planning, lazy to check for cheapest prices, make quick decision and deal with the issues later, bad in time scheduling, etc.

Maybe in other words, I'm not an organised traveller and not the best travel partner.

Thanks for still willing to jump on this 'sinking' ship.

I don't wanna do anything less than 7 days and I also know it's hard to leave the baby behind for more than 7 days, hence I really don't wanna drag her along with me - especially knowing that it won't be some kind of luxurious, pampering, eat-till-you-drop trip.

Can change place, don't change me

I said I can find other people to come with me so she won't have to.
She insisted to come.
Not for the sake of seeing places.
More of being my company and being in my company.
I appreciate that.
It's something you can never get from a normal friend.
And something people without sister will ever understand.

The whole bunch of things friends will consider before accompanying you to anywhere or sparing just few hours of their time are:
- why, where, how, what, when, who
- destination
- purpose
- budget
- annual leaves
- work commitment
- weather
- their partner
- their interests
- their pet
- their diet
- their me-time
- their savings plan
- their sleep
- anything you would never think of...

Sometimes, I use these 'excuses' myself.
The 'excuses' may be true to some extent, but the better truth is, the company isn't right.

And 'friends' will probably take...
A year to decide if they wanna go on a holiday with you.
6 months to decide if they wanna invite you to a holiday with them.
3 months to decide if they wanna visit you.
1 month to decide if they wanna spend the next long weekend with you.
1 week to decide if they wanna spend the next weekend with you.
3 days to decide if they wanna have dinner with you.
Just because there are so many other people and things who/which come before you. That's what waiting-list is for.

Truly, there is only ONE main reason - you are not the person they wanna spend time with.

Other than giving me life, the next important thing that Mum gave me are my lovely sisters. Couldn't have asked for anything else.

I'm also appreciative of my other non-biological sisters who entered my life by fate.

One offered to accompany me to Myanmar, though she can only do 4 days due to family commitment, I'll have to do the remaining 3-6 days on my own. Well, at least she tried. And no, the last thing I want is for people to sacrifice for me, so she's not allowed to come along. Haha. 

In the end of the day, what's important is the quality of the company. Destination doesn't matter.
In order to be able to travel together, we decided to choose a nearer place, for under 5 days.

'Change place and not change her'.

Oh Myanmar...I shall visit you when a travel mate comes along.

All of you, thanks for loving me. I love you too.

driving test

everyone - the good and bad - plays a part in your success

Finally got my Australian Driver's Licence - after 8.5 years here.

I've put off the idea of obtaining a Licence for soooo long because:

1. There was no need for one.

2. The public transport is pretty convenient.

3. I don't have a car, why need a licence?

4. Licence was not compulsory for work.

5. Car is a liability, not an asset.

6. I hate the idea of sitting for tests.

Earlier this year, I went for a job interview - whereby 'driver's licence' was one of the requirements for the job. In order to be competent for the job, I took the theory exam prior to the interview to show that I'm 'close' to getting a license. LOL. I didn't end up getting the job though. 

However, my current 'new' job requires frequent site visits. 

I think sooner or later, my colleagues will hate to partner me to site visits as I can't share the driving responsibility. 

At some point, I have to stop being the female-engineer-who-doesn't-drive-herself-to-site-visits. Feels like a hopeless spoilt brat.

And since I've taken the theory exam, I might as well get the licence done. Driving Test is just a tiny fraction of all the challenges and changes that I've been through in 2015. Just face it and bring it on!

Few days before the exam, I went on a 2-hours driving lesson with an ahpek instructor - just to get some exam tips from him.

He's such an old school chap who raises his voice and puts blame whenever he can. 

You failed! 

You gonna fail!

Fail! You exceeded the speed limit!

Fail! Why did you stop unnecessarily?!

Fail! Too fast! If the examiner feels scared, you fail!

Fail! You didn't check the blind spot.

Fail!

Fail!

Fail!

Honestly, I haven't FAILED so much in my life until I met him.

What a traumatic 2-hours. 

After the lesson, I felt so lost and my brain went blank. 

The FAILED voices kept playing in my ears. Wtf.

Before an exam, the last thing you wanna hear is your teacher telling you that you're gonna Fail, Fail, Fail and Fail... =_="

The following day, I tried driving to work. Felt like a rookie on the road.

The ahpek's voice still lingered in my ears.

I became unsure of when and where I should check the blind spots, when to check for cars, when to start signalling, etc...

The ahpek has been yelling Fail! so frequently that I'm so used to him telling me if I fail or not, I lost the ability to decide for myself and became so fearful of failing. zZZzzZz

Sure enough, despite the 'Sure Pass' muffin from VV, I failed the test. 

Ahpek was right after all. Hahahha.

So what happened?

All good, except ONE fail item.

When turning right, the right front wheel accidentally went on the solid white line-marking.

Sweat.

The examiners should make a compilation of the Dumbest Ways to Fail a Driving Test - to show how they decide to fail people in the most ridiculous ways.

Did he fail me because crossing the line during exam means I'll forever be crossing lines?

If I didn't cross that solid line, I would have passed.

But does that mean I won't cross any solid line EVER in the future?

There ought to be better ways to test driving skills.

'Skills' are just a small contributing factor to road safety. 

What about the patience, the kindness, the generosity, the calmness, which would also impact the driver and other road users?

Anyways, the following week, I passed the test on second try. 

I thought I did worse than the first time. LOL.

- 2 mins into the test, I was speeding up to cross the lights when they turned yellow suddenly. I made a sudden stop, in time before the first white line. I thought I hear ahpek's voice screaming Fail! I immediately apologised to the officer. He replied, 'That's okay'. I'd prefer him to be nasty cos the nicer he is, the scarier it seems.

- When moving into a kerb side before a 3-point-turn, I went too close to the kerb and scratched the tyre rim. LOL! The officer looked funny. And I thought, Damn..fail again?!

- When I was about to overtake a bus, suddenly it has its signal on, it was too late to give way so I went straight ahead. Fail again???

After the test, I was already thinking of when, how, and where I should take the 3rd test. 

When he announced the results to me...

Officer: Please sign here. Congratulations, it's a pass today.

Me: Sorry? Pass? Really???

Officer: Yeah.

Me: Oh. I thought I did worse than last week.

Officer: Nah, it was a nice ride. You did well.

Me: Oh okay. Thanks. Still can't believe it.

Finally, mission accomplished.

Driver Knowledge Test - $43
Leaner's Licence - $24
2-hours lesson - $90
Driving Test #1 - $54
Borrow Ahpek's car for Test#1 - $120
Driving Test #2 - $54
Borrow Arl's car for Test#2 - $40
10-years licence - $324
TOTAL = $749!!! 

Didn't feel as broke until I saw this figure.

Thanks ahpek for your fail-lessons, arl for borrowing me your car and taking half day off, vv for letting me hijack your room for a night before the tests, the officer who insisted that the ride was 'nice' despite the jolt and 'excitement' I gave him, and Ching who was gonna swap shifts to send me to the 3rd test - which is no longer required now that I've passed the 2nd.

So many conditions put together, for this to happen - the miracle of Causes and Conditions.

Next, it's time for other more important 'tests'.....

sisters

sister is the guardian angel for life

They're the ones who know me inside out, head to toe.

They bear with my weirdest behaviour, lamest jokes, and utter randomness.

They endure my worst farts, worst temper, and silent treatment.

They are the reason how I developed the free and easy habit of leaving home with no cash in my pockets because they have cash in theirs.

They have the best ears (or eyes) when I need to complain just about anything.

They let me be myself without being afraid of being judged.

They are there when all things fail.

We are each other's strengths during the toughest times in life.

We are each other's antidote when one's poisoned by irrationality or overwhelmed with enmities.

We hated each other's bf before because he has taken some of the attentions which belonged to us.

We'd ditch our bf for each other because bfs are 2nd class citizens, sisters are 1st.

We share the same love for cleanliness and tidiness but at times the room could be in a complete mess until someone implodes and starts banging things around, the other will start cleaning obediently.

We share one wardrobe. One size fits all. Though I have the smallest boobs, feet, arms, thighs...=P

We sometimes type in the worst grammars, typos, broken english, and caplang language but there's no problem in understanding each other.

We can communicate through eye contact, body language, and facial expression.

We don't back stab each other, we stab from the front.

We'd walk in the room in our undies, who cares who's undressed and who's fat.

We are careful with our spending but when it comes to spending on each other, we become careless. When I see how others are being calculative with their siblings; down to the cents, I can't help but to feel grateful and thankful for having the most generous sisters one could ask for.

We tell each other the darkest secrets for we know it's the safest place and we won't be judged against.

We compliment each other in many different ways - like how I tend to break the needle of the sewing machine and tangle up the thread in it, they'd fix it up for me. How they freak out at a cockroach, I'd 'settle' it for them. How every piece of pork that big sis hates, ends up on my plate. How all the tofu puffs in the bahkuteh pot, end up on younger sis' plate.

We are made for each other as one is a control freak and one is a follower. I'm the 'whatever, leave me alone'.

When one of us got into trouble, the others would stand up and save the situation.

When one of us needs money, we would say 'Here, take my money'.

When one of us falls down, we'll laugh it off before helping her up.

And so so so so so much more........

Love them to the moon and back! Hugs and mwah!

If you ask if I would replace a sister for anything else in the world, the answer is No, for sister is the best 'thing' ever.

For people who don't have sister, you could still find one in your bestest friend. As people say, best friend is the sister God forgot to give you.

I'm also grateful to have a few of these 'forgotten' sisters in my life.

Suddenly feel like I'm the luckiest person on Earth. :)