flu season

if only there is one less selfish person

I've always heard stories from colleagues about how often they fall sick because their kids fall sick because someone from their daycare/school was sick.

One even told me that someone from school passed the virus to his boys, who then passed the virus to him, who then shared it with his team at work. One by one, the team members fell sick. My first thought was 'you shouldn't even have come in when you're sick', let alone spreading viruses to a quarter of the people at work.

Just a week or two ago, a friend's daughter contracted the Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease (HFMD) which started from someone from the next class. And who knows where this 'someone' contracted the disease from. Why did the parents even send him/her to school knowing that he/she is carrying and has the potential of spreading some kind of viruses?

A friend told me she's having sorethroat and headache, but she stressed that her nose isn't runny so she doesn't think it was caused by virus. She thinks the sorethroat and headache were developed from her body internally. Sorethroat and headache are flu-like symptoms to start with. It's unlikely that it's not a viral infection (in my 'non-medical-background' opinion).

This is only one of the many times that she fell sick with sorethroat, headache, flu or fever symptoms. Sigh. Either she has weak antibody. Or she is surrounded by virus-carriers all the time. Or she is negligent to the causes of flu-transmittal. Or all the above.

Each time my toddler niece is sick, my sister will keep her away from the two nephews (or vice versa) to avoid spreading the virus to them. Virus could be passed on by just touching the same toys, sharing the same food/drinks, or coming in contact with saliva/mucus. Even during healthy times, saliva-passing should be kept minimal.

I know of a friend who falls sick every month. It's not just her, it seems like her colleagues fall sick frequently too. This is an obvious sign that the viruses are spread amongst themselves. Sick people should just stay home for a day or two or five!

Sigh.

The most recent conversation I had on viruses:

A: I can't eat ice-cream as my cough will get worse.
D: It's good. So you can officially take a sick leave tomorrow.
A: No. I'll still go to work.
Me: *zzzz*
A: I haven't taken any sick leave before.
Me: What?! But you've been sick so frequently. From memory, you have flu every now and then. You never taken a day off at all?! *wth?*
D: Wahlao.......you'll spread to other people leh.
Me: (exactly what I thought)
A: Hahaha. Ya I think so. I was coughing for a week and this morning my boss started coughing too. Hehe.
Me: (It's not funny, Hello???) Why don't you ever take a day off?
A: I'm doing them good. Giving them free flu vaccination. So they can fight greater viruses next time. 
Me: *it's getting too ridiculous, I don't even want to discuss it any further*
D: It's not just your colleague you're harming lor. Think about their kids, their family.
Me: Just take a day off and rest at home.
A: It's boring at home. That's why I'll still go to work regardless. 

I gave up trying to convince people like this.

People who think sick leave exists only for the sake of sick people.
People who think taking or not taking sick leave is solely for their own good.
People who have no consideration for other people in terms of spreading illnesses.
People who think viruses never spread.
People who think it's not their fault if other people contracted the virus from them.

The harder I try to 'educate' them, it only makes me seem like a paranoid and un-compassionate person.

No amount of brainwashing or nagging is comparable to self-awareness.
In the end of the day, only they can change their own mindset.
It's scary to know that there are plenty of 'unaware' people like this around me.
Haven't even taken into consideration, the ones who aren't around me.

Everyone needs to be considerate and educated about how not to spread diseases/viruses to innocent healthy people.
People don't need to fall sick just because you are sick.
Stay home, recover.
Spare the virus from spreading to others.
Or at least wear a mask, cover up when sneezing/coughing, sanitise.

This is just 'domestic' flu we're talking about.
I can't imagine if they have swine flu, bird flu, or ebola.
Would they still think it's okay for them to walk freely in public spaces?

chess

blessed to grow up without technology

Derek once told me, one decision he did right as a kid was to learn how to play tennis.

Being good at tennis was one of the reasons he didn't have problem settling in when he first came to Sydney as people always count him in for quality games. He was never left out on weekend tennis. And that's where friendships were made quickly.

I thought to myself, do any of my childhood hobbies actually enhance my life as an adult? I don't think so, no.

As kids, our 3 main 'toys' were Lego, barbie dolls, and chess.
Lego has probably sparked the 'engineering' side of me.
Barbie. I don't think it brings any benefit really. Her life objective is to dress up for dates with Ken. Such shallow mentality. Girls have better things to achieve in life. Lol.
As for Chess, after the topic was randomly brought up by my sis, now I believe it does play a huge part in shaping my personalities and way of thinking.

We used to represent our schools in chess competitions.
Not that I'm extremely good at it, there just weren't enough people to make up the team.

In a chess competition, there is one timer for each player.
When it's your turn, your timer runs. Once you completed your move, you stop your timer which then automatically activates your opponent's timer.
The game may end at any time if any of players' time runs out.
It's not just about trying to checkmate your opponent, it's also a race against time.

There's also the touch-move rule in chess. If a player touches a piece on the board during his turn, he must then move that piece during his turn. If he touches the opponent's piece, he must then make moves to capture that piece during his turn.

What is a chess game like?

- Plan and think ahead of not just your own moves but your opponent's moves too. 

- Observe your opponent's each and every move to find out his intentions and forecast his next move/game plan.

- Think before you act. Do not touch anything on the board until you're sure.

- You don't have all the time in the world to think or make decision as the clock ticks down.

- Every move should be strategised with purpose - to threaten, to trap, to lure, to kill, to defend, to distract, to slow, to run for life or to force the opponent into taking a certain move.

- Sometimes you have to sacrifice the less important (or least favourite) pieces to keep the 'useful' ones.

- Sometimes you kill for the sake of being killed. The less pieces there are on the board, the easier it is to have an overview of the game. 

- No talking, pure thinking, full concentration.

- Every time a move is taken by yourself or the opponent, you quickly repeat the what-if, if-not, if, and say-if in your head because the dynamic of the board changes with every move.

- You sit face to face with your opponent for about an hour but the only words spoken are Check, Touch-move, Castling, Checkmate, and Good-game. 

So what has chess instilled in me?

- 'One step at a time' is a good way to not over-stress on things but sometimes we gotta think and plan a few steps ahead to have a more 'structured' life.

- Observation is a good way to get to know someone better inside out - why they do/act/say/react in certain ways. We don't always need to ask or judge, just observe and learn.

- Never do/act/say/react on things before thinking through the consequences or alternatives. Touch-move serves as a good reminder.

- Think and make decision there and then unless the decision is dependent on other factors which are not within your control. The habit of not wanting to commit until the last minute is a form of running away from things. Time waits for no man.

- Always be reminded that each step taken in life leads to another. We might as well take the steps purposefully, making full use of the chance we have.

- You can't have best of both worlds. If it means sacrificing something to keep another, so be it. Know what's best for you, make choices, let go.

- Less is more. Trying to hold on to too many things will in turn blind us from the things that truly matter. The lesser we have, the clearer it is to identify and easier it is to grasp on what matters most.

- When I'm quiet, I'm thinking. And often, my thoughts are confined in my head and I'm used to not speaking out.

- Nothing is definite as things are meant to change as we go.

- Silence is not awkward. Some may find it uneasy.

Chess has definitely influenced me in many ways.

My analytical and critical thinking skills, my calmness in facing and solving problems, my observant nature, my habit of not lengthening any decision-making process (not liking to spend so much time thinking of the same things over and over again), my introvert traits, my habit of doing all the thinkings in my head and not voicing out, my ability to quickly let go of thoughts/things/people which/who aren't worth or not meant to be, and my love for quiet space. Also, people think chess is: Boring. Slow. Complicated to some. Brain-killing. Not fun. Perhaps that's why I'm a boring person at times. Lol.

Thanks to the aunty (I don't know which aunty) who gave us her spare chess set.

redundancy

cruel truth - only the good ones are allowed to stay

Last Friday, my team leader requested to have a chat with me.
Gahhhhhh.......shoot me please! I dislike talking to him in person.

He broke the news to me that he has been made redundant.

Not that I was expecting this to happen, but it didn't came as a surprise to me either.
Perhaps I was too caught up emotionally with the fact that Derek's leaving, I don't know.

I could only manage, 'Oh okay.'
I know it sounds emotionless and uncompassionate, just couldn't help it Lol.
My heart has turned cold for him.

He asked me to provide feedback on how he could improve for his future roles.
He said in his TWENTY years of career, he hasn't come across a work-relationship as strained as ours - he wants to know what and where went wrong.

Well, in my SEVEN years of career experience, I haven't come across someone who's so difficult to work with and at the same time incompetent. Usually, people are difficult because they know too much but he is the total opposite.

With 20 years of experience, he should be Principal or Manager and be telling people what and how to do things. Not just sit around and give excuses like 'I haven't done this before' and 'I'm new to this'.
It feels like he hibernated for 10 years in between those years.

I really hope he can improve but I do need to maintain professionalism hence I can't be too blunt with my words.

The only thing I told him was to not contradict himself.
Be sure of the information he is giving out. Don't say one thing today and another tomorrow. If unsure, just don't say anything, so that people don't get confused (and f**ked up) because of his contradicting words. It's hard to progress if he keeps changing his mind (reason why I can't work with you because uncertainties drive me MAD haha) while nothing's fixed  - it's a waste of time and effort (and after all the wasted time, don't fking send emails and cc everyone above reminding me of deadlines; indirectly holding me responsible for the missed deadline - such a cowardly behaviour for a team leader).

Thanks to my EQ, I didn't utter the sentences in brackets above. Lol.
They were already at the end of my tongue.

I guess it all goes back to the fact that he doesn't know his stuff.
How can one be sure of anything if he knows nothing?

I hope he finds himself a job which can relate to his 20 years' experience and be a more 'useful' engineer.
All the best to him (and his future colleagues too of course).

farewell

a hard goodbye deserves a smile because it happened, 

not because it ended

Got to the office at 10am yesterday.
Had a quick breakfast, checked emails, and calendar.
There was a meeting invitation for 'Derek's farewell presentation' at 11am.

His reaction to the invitation was Do we really need this? Are you people trying to embarrass me on my last day? Wanna see me tear up?

Ann told him to bring a box of tissues with him. Lol. How supportive is that?

I thought he was joking about tearing.
He has always been the rational, calm, and no-worries kinda person. The last thing I'd expect from him is being emotional.

By the time I sent out two emails, it's 11am. Time for the presentation. He went into the boardroom with a box of tissues. Lol.

screen showing how he looks like in review meetings - where engineers get grilled

He's leaving Sydney for good and also resigned from the company he has worked for for 30 years.

All for the sake of his passion in engineering - to make things happen. He's going to work on a project to put a $2 billion pounds tunnel under the renown Stonehenge site.

He said if not because of the project, he would not have made the decision to leave Sydney. The last 1 year had been the best 1 year of his life. And he'll definitely be back in the future.

And he started tearing...........omg!
Haha.

Only so far written by half the office and it's already 80% filled.

The A3 farewell card. Not the typical 'All the best and good luck' wishes. The long messages show just how much he means to us :(

After the presentation, he spent a few mins on his own in the boardroom to straighten up. Haha.

At 2pm, he decided to go for drinks as he couldn't concentrate while being emotional.
He told me to join him if I want to, whenever.
I couldn't concentrate either. There's always Monday to do all the works isn't it? Lol.
So I went down to join him and Ann.

He told me when he first decided to come to Sydney, his brother-in-law warned him that Sydney is the place on earth where once you step foot on, it's hard for you to leave.
He didn't believe him.
Now that he needs to leave, he couldn't agree more.
The weather, the city, the people, the neighbourhood, the blue skies, the culture, the simplicity, and so much more...
He is leaving with a heavy heart.

He was the person who interviewed me for my role, hence was the first person I met from the company.
He taught me to love what I do and do it well.
He told me to be great at what we do and be proud of it.
He bought me a plant to 'green' up my desk.

When I left the farewell party that night, his last words for me were, 'You be good' in which I replied, 'I will.'

It was a short 12 months encounter but a very memorable one.

Thanks for being a part of my career journey. You will be missed.

quiet day at work

aura - flows from within and radiates outwards

Yesterday...

Admin: I'm leaving now. Are you okay, missy? You seem quiet today. 
Me: Did I?
Admin: Yea. You haven't spoken a word today.
Me: Haha. Cos you told me not to talk to you today, right? So you can get your work done.
Admin: Oh ya. Okay. 
Director: Are you sure it's because of that? She hasn't been singing all day either. She was singing for the last 3 days. 

For someone who is insensitive and pays no attention to details, my silence must be very obvious for him to notice.
I did find the songs on my playlist crappy yesterday. Not sure why I did not sing though. Didn't realise until he mentioned. Lol.
As for not talking, that's true too. Not because she told me not to. I just didn't feel like it.
Wasn't expecting them to feel the aura, it must be too strong to ignore. Haha.

A couple of days ago, out of randomness...

Admin: You know, when I get old, I'm just gonna be like an owl.
Me: Owl?
Admin: Ya owl.
Me: Why's that?
Admin: Well, don't you realise they just sit on a branch all day and not make a noise? I guess I'm just gonna be like that.
Me: .....Okay.....good on you. (*can you be more random*)
Director: So, are you gonna be able to turn your head 360 degrees like an owl too?

LOL!!!!

Admin: Ohh! That's not the point! You're always here to spoil everything!

From wanting to be a quiet owl, the conversation ended with her on top of her lungs and the director laughing happily because he successfully annoyed her.

Such is a typical day at work with Derek around.

A dramatic and loud blonde admin.
A sarcastic, humorous, and wise old man.
A calm and quiet me.
Not sure how the dynamic works with this combo...but it worked out well.

When Derek leaves, I'm so gonna miss the random conversations and dramas three of us had in the cubicle we share.

a little surprise

life is full of surprises

My office plant was badly injured in a tragic accident last month. Lol.

After the accident, I left it die a slow death. 

About a week after the accident, I found one of its leaves still green and healthy.

I threw the dead plant and kept the green leaf in the pot by the window.

Days later, the admin discovered my 'leaf' and questioned about the plant.

I told her I accidentally killed it, hopefully the leaf would grow into something.

Days later, another accident happened. The pot toppled and I lost even the last piece of leaf. Hahahhha.

Came in to work today and saw a brand new baby in the pot. 

What a surprise.

I asked the admin where did this come from?

She said 'maybe it's from the leaf you 'planted'.'

Lol.

She wouldn't admit it's from her. 

Whoever it is, thanks anyway.

it's not just me

the worst conversations involve two things:

- a person who doesn't listen

- a person who interrupts

So, the admin now knows about my frustration towards the team leader's laziness and irresponsibility - not much on his incompetency, yet.

Last week, our internal reviewer reviewed my report and added some comments to it. When the comments were sent through, Mr. Slack told me to 'have a look at the comments and make changes to the report accordingly'. 

Duh??? I know what I should do. Don't instruct for the sake of instructing. It only makes you look redundant in the office. Please speak something people don't already know.

After I finalised the report to include the comments, he told me he actually do not 'really' agree with some of the comments the reviewer made. Like wtf? After changes have been made, only then he realised he doesn't agree with the comments? Wonder what was he doing for the past 2 days.

Only when the deadline is near, he decided to be 'knowledgeable' and 'critical' with his thinking. He started commenting on and disagreeing with petty little things implemented by our internal reviewer. 

I told him to go and discuss with the reviewer as I don't find anything wrong with those comments. 

As they were discussing, he was busy interrupting (as usual). Can't just let people finish their sentence. zZzz. 

Then the reviewer started doing the same to him. Both were busy talking and no one was listening. Lol!

Then the admin secretly handed me this note:

Yeah. It seems like it's not just me.
People would naturally end up in a heated conversation with him because he is so darn irritating. He doesn't listen!!! And the things he argues about are petty and insignificant, just like the mind who speaks it.

It makes me feel so much better because I'm not the only one who thinks he speaks a funny mind.
Finally, people are noticing.

never burn bridges

keep bridges well

no river will only be crossed once in life

I have to admit that I've been blessed with helpful colleagues and seniors in my previous job.
Of course, they were a few nasty ones but they're not worth to be mentioned.

Those who helped me grow.
Those who inspired me to think and solve problems like an engineer.
Those who taught me to be tough.
Those who covered my ass when there were holes in my pants.
Those who helped justify my sickies to the boss when I wasn't really sick - just sick of work.
Those who came up with excuses for me when I decided to 'work-from-home'.
Those who shared their experience unconditionally.
Those who shared knowledge on investment, insurance, tax return, etc.
Those who served as my talking encyclopedia, allowing me to be reliant on them for quick answers.
Those who taught me to save on household bills.
Those who made working hours seem short and fun.

I miss them all!

Everyone who has asked about my new job - family, friends, ex-colleagues - would have heard stories about my current incompetent team leader.

While family and friends provide a pair of listening ears, a pair of reading eyes, and some words of wisdoms, ex-colleagues have come about with job opportunities for me.

Each time I speak to my ex-senior, he'd ask if I'd like to return to the company.
The answer is always No. Haha. I can't see myself turning back to the path I left behind.
Though I really miss working with them, the key is to advance and not look back.

A senior I've worked with in a joint venture project has also told me about job opportunities in his company. I've missed the Linkedin message until 2 months later. Woops...

Recently, another ex-senior has informed me of a job opening in his company. I've decided to try my luck this time.
It's not a guarantee that grass will be greener on the other side, but where I am now, the grass isn't any greener either. I've got nothing to lose.

People say, wherever you go, never burn bridges.

My experience proves that any river would be crossed more than once in life.
Keep the bridges and keep them well, so no repair is required when you need to cross that particular river again.

randomness

be naturally random

Yesterday, the admin very randomly asked if I know who Coco Chanel is.

I said yes.

I thought she was going to say something along the lines of 'you are what you look'.

She then read out loud to me.

'Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.'

I quickly took a look at my attire.

Ok. I don't think I'm dressing shabbily. At least not today. Haha. But I shall bear this quote in mind.

Today, I went to her to take a photo of the Coco Chanel quote.
It was already in the bin.
She is someone who keeps no rubbish and deals with no shit.
Someone who dumps things (and emotions) easily. The good thing is she forgets them easily too.

She then told me today's quote was rubbish but Monday's is meaningful.
I couldn't agree more. :)

Around tea time, I heard minor explosions from the kitchen.
A suspicious blue packet was popping in the microwave oven.
It was her and her randomness again.
She said when she ordered milk this morning, she came across popcorns and decided to add them into the cart.
Suddenly, the office smelled like a cinema. Hehe.

Things won't be the same without her in the office. 

I like randomness.

when you have colleague like this...

laugh and get over it

For the night work on Sunday, we were supposed to inspect a bridge which spans over Road A.

While waiting for the traffic management to be set up, he decided to drive to Road A to check out the conditions under the bridge.
He set his GPS to Road A and found that the GPS shows a longer route.
So he asked if I trust a GPS.
I said yes.
He said he doesn't trust the GPS because it's taking a longer route when Road A is just round the corner.
I told him if he knows the way, just ignore the GPS.
He confidently said he is sure where Road A is.
In 2 mins, we arrived at 'Road A'.

It was in the middle of the night and pitch black.
We were relying on the street lights from above the bridge to guide our eyes.
He started looking at the bridge from below it.

The more I looked, the more I find the bridge different.
Out of nowhere there was reinforced soil wall around the abutments but the old 1950's drawings I've seen do not show any wall. So I thought the walls were newly-added features.

Me: Hmm...why did they build the soil wall now? Is there any use at all? 
Him: (wasn't paying attention to me)
Me: If the wall's there, how are we gonna inspect?
Him: Hmm, I don't know...

The bridge looked really different from the construction drawings.
Even without much lighting, I could tell it looks different.
The piers were circular while the drawings I saw have squarish piers.

Me: Hey, I don't think this is the right bridge. I don't remember seeing walls in the drawings. And it has circular piers? 
Him: Sorry?
Me: See. Circular piers. And soil walls? Since when?
Him: You're right...
Me: ??? Omg?! What are we doing? Where are we actually? Lol.
Him: Jialat man. Luckily you're observant. If not, we'll be doing the wrong bridge tonight.
Me: ..... 
Him: Why are you laughing man? Jialat. Now you gonna tell the whole world about this.
Me: The bridge looks completely different, you know?

Sweat. It's so not funny but I found myself laughing.
I was speechless and confused as to how he could get the bridge wrong.
And no wonder the GPS was taking a 'longer route'.
Talking about not trusting a GPS? LOL.

Usually I'd get very pissed when he does mistakes like this - not getting things right the first time.
I guess I was emotionally drained, sleepy, and tired to feel anything that night.
And also, earlier when I arrived at where he was supposed to pick me, I found him napping in the car. He must have waited for a bit, though I was right on time. I felt sorry for him and decided to be kind for a night. Poor old man meets a lady with a soft heart. Haha.

After the whole GPS joke, we went to Maccas while waiting for traffic management to close the highway.
We chatted in a more casual way. I was less aggressive and more patient.
I felt he has been trying very very hard to know me better.
I wished it's all written on my face so it makes life easier for him.
I know I'm difficult to grasp and can be difficult at times.
Maybe one day, he'll give up trying. Haha.

What I learned from this night shift is...I can be kind to him. 
I shall keep this in mind.

P/s: He went for other site inspections this week. Took hundreds of photos at a few sites. Returned to the office only to find that the photos weren't saved on the memory card. King of jokers.

If I went with him, I wonder if I would be mad at his carelessness?
Maybe if I were there, I could have saved his day - again. Hehehe.

melbourne cup

horses, stay safe

It's the race which stops a nation at 3 pm on every first Tuesday of November.
It's a public holiday in Victoria only.

In other states, we simply declare our own half-day off by stopping work from 2.30 pm to watch the race, followed by drinks till the end of office hour. We'll also have sweepstake at work - $2 for 1 horse, $5 for 3 horses - where horses are randomly picked from a pool.

This year, it's no different in the new company. Our British boss asked what do we normally do on Melbourne Cup day. Someone who also came from my old company replied we generally stop work from after lunch, have some drinks, watch the race, and continue drinking for the rest of the day.

The boss said Ok, let's do it!

What an easy-going boss. Lol.

3 horses died in the last 2 years of Melbourne Cup. 1 had heart attack and 2 were put to sleep because they broke a leg. Horses need all 4 legs to 'live'. If any is broken, they're better off dead than alive.

In my opinion, horses should be running freely in the woods.
They aren't born to be whipped.
They aren't born to go through trainings.
They aren't born to be transported in a confined space.
They aren't born to run in races and be the subject of gamble.

Hence, I'm not a fan of this race or any other things which involve animals kept in captivity and go through vigorous training - zoo, circus, water park, races, animal shows, etc.

For the first time in 4 months, the admin and I are on the same page.
We're more concern of the welfare of the horses than the half-day off, free lunch, drinks, bets, and adrenaline rush.
We excuse ourselves from the sweepstake and hope no horses die this year.

Each time after the race, the owners of the winning horse will be seen cheering, congratulating each other, and popping a champagne. First 10 horses will win some kind prize money.

What do the horses get?
A spa retreat?
A mane-cut and treatment?
A day off from track?
A bigger stable?
A sense of achievement and pride?

Nothing.

If I were a horse, I'd rather be left to starve in the woods than to be given hay, a stable, and beautiful shoes - things I wasn't born to need.

Put yourself in the horses' shoes...

incompetent

one good thing about having a bad leader

is you easily become the better subordinate

I had a discussion with the team leader yesterday.
At the end of it, I was so upset/disappointed/frustrated/sad/heart-broken/worried.
I lost confidence in him.
Technically and management-wise, I can't see how he fits in the role.
This was not the first time it happens.

Him: Are you working on changes to this?
Me: No? I thought you say to put it on hold?
Him: Ya. But you can start changing them to suit B.
Me: Sorry? Last week you said we do it according to A. Why are we doing B now?
Him: I'm pretty sure now we have to do B.
Me: Pretty sure? Is that your own assumptions or the client said so?
Him: Just my guess.
Me: zzzz
Him: I'm not sure how busy are you. Are you busy? If not, we can try B now.
Me: Last week you assured that it's A. Yesterday you told me to hold the works. Now you ask me to try B? Do you have a clear direction as to what we have to do?
Him: Not yet.
Me: Do you realise we keep repeating the same task without having a direction? It's heading nowhere.
Him: I thought it's normal to repeat?
Me: *look at him in disbelief* I thought we should AIM at getting things right the first time to avoid unnecessary repetition?
Him: It happens you know.
Me: I know it happens. But that's due to BAD PLANNING! We do without planning and without direction. That's the reason.
Him: Okkk....Let me know if you have any queries.

I turned to face my monitor while he quietly manoeuvre his chair back to his seat with him sitting on it.

We haven't spoken a word to each other ever since and only communicated via emails as of today. Lol.

What it feels like working with an incompetent leader:

- You find yourself repeating one same task over 5 times, with no conclusion and no result.
- You find yourself rowing single-handedly trying to move a kayak of two people.
- You find yourself in unnecessary meetings because he doesn't know how to prioritise what's important and what's not.
- You find yourself in a discussion with him for 30 mins only to realise that he does not know half the things that came out of his freaking mouth.
- You find yourself getting more confused after a discussion than before it.
- You find unnecessary forwarded emails in your mailbox with 'FYI' as the opening.
- You find emails ending with 'let me know if you have any queries' (as if he's ready to answer any questions), but when you ask, his responses are 'I don't know'.
- You find that he keeps checking on your work progress without a freaking idea of how long the work actually requires. Like checking at 30 mins interval for a task which requires 5 days or giving you 5 days for a 15 days task.
- You find that he often contradicts himself because he doesn't know what he wants and what needs to be done.
- You find that his favourite sentences for complicated tasks are 'I'll leave this to you' and 'Honestly, I haven't done this before'.
- You find that he sets a low target for everything he does, 'don't have to do so much until the client asks for it'. Like don't wash the dirty toilet bowl until it turns brown.
- You find that he likes using 'do it by COB xxx' for every task he gives you. Not all task requires a bloody COB deadline!
- You find him saying stuff which leaves you gobsmacked and makes you suspect his career experience. Like when a manual car driver tells you that he drives without ever using the clutch - is he fooling you or he is a fool.

It all comes down to:

- Lack of passion in what he does
- Lack of sense of responsibility
- Lack of planning skill
- Lack of common sense
- Lack of desire to strive
- Lack of motivation
- Lack of meaning at work
- Lack of related technical skills
- Lack of .......just anything you expect from a leader

There's just too much differences in us and our way of working.
It's a long way to go for us till we come to the middle path in our work-relationship.

stolen lunch

never accuse too early

One of the worst ways to start work after a tiring long weekend is to get in the office and find that some of your belongings have been removed by an 'unknown' force.

Worst still, if it was your lunch. Gahhhhhhhhh

The half-eaten tub of yogurt was missing.
The brand new tub was also missing.
The mayo sauce was missing.

Seriously?? Who would wanna eat someone else's half-eaten yogurt?

Whoever that was, he/she could have spared me the half-eaten tub.
And the mayo was expired by the way.

I stared at the much empty fridge for a couple of seconds. Like wth? What's for lunch?

Then I thought, a thief wouldn't steal in such an unplanned and stupidly obvious manner.
Or maybe he/she is a stupid thief?

There must have been some kind of 'open' fridge-spring-cleaning over the long weekend.
'Open' means to do it openly with or without authority and not hideous about it.

The first person who crossed my mind as The Possible Culprit was the admin. Hahaha. I know I shouldn't...

To prevent causing further abrasion between us, I thought I should let the matter go.

A tinge of reluctance crept over me...in loving memory of my sacrificed yogurt.
It was unopened. It wasn't expired. Did she even check the expiry? Why the need to throw it? She can still clean the fridge without throwing out stuff.

Should I point it out to her or keep mum? Arghhhhh...dilemma.

I opened and closed, opened and closed the fridge. Should I or should I not?

I decided to speak out because it's immoral to throw food and unethical to do it without permission from the owners.
I can't have my yogurt back but I also don't want it to sacrifice in vain.
At least point out to her that the stuff she put into the bin were still EDIBLE.
They could have fed 5 or more empty stomachs.

So I called out for her from the kitchen since she sits just 5 metres away.
I said Ann...did you see my yogurt? There were two tubs last Friday. Now there's none.
She looked a little lost.
I said the fridge looks empty too.
She said she didn't notice the empty fridge until I mentioned. Maybe the cleaner cleaned it last Friday. She'll email them to check.

Okayyy. So it wasn't her?
I was prepared for her to raise her voice at me explaining why the food needed to be binned.
Thankfully, we didn't have to go there.
She was calm and cooperative.
She might not need the anti-angryface botox anymore. Hehehe.

I acknowledge the 'difficult' sides of her.
Sometimes she loses her temper.
Sometimes she gets cranky.
Sometimes she's bossy.
Sometimes she's mean.
As I'm starting to accept her for who she is, I also hope the 'difficult' list doesn't grow any longer.
Luckily it didn't.

She later confirmed that all the fridges in our building were cleaned. But ours was not meant to be one of them. The cleaner did it by mistake. And the building manager will replace all the missing items.

Oh dear cleaner, I hope you didn't put those food into the bin but brought them home instead. Otherwise, you must be dumber than dumb.

Later, my senior told me that his new bag of tomatoes and chili mayo sauce were missing too.
He realised it first thing in the morning and thought it must be Ann who did it (looks like I'm not the only person who suspected her). Lol!
He chose to keep quiet about it just to not make her mad.
Even the Libran backed off this time; I wonder where did my courage come from this morning?
I forgot to ask if he told them to replace 'a bag of tomatoes, some lettuce, and Aldi's chili mayo sauce', that must be funny. Hehe.

Glad that we cleared the mist and didn't accuse the wrong person.
Ann's a nice person after all if we're willing to look pass her flaws.
Let's see if I can apply this on my senior.

impromptu 526 km Part #2

happiness out of little things

Day 2 of the impromptu 526 km.

The morning started off with Reggie watching the Wallabies vs England in the rugby world cup at 6am, in the dark and with a muted tv. I wouldn't have mind the tv noise, really.

Occasionally in my dreams I could hear a female shouting Bummer!, Good Job!, some random cursings, and some wicked laughters. Haha. Reggie being reggie. 

The Wallabies won the game. Yay! Though I know nuts about rugby. Aussie Aussie Aussie!

And then at 8am she got out of her bed and started chanting "Wakey wakey"... such a familiar wake-up call. Lol. 

She then went to make simple lunch of bread+tuna - the usual hiking food.

Looks pathetic but couldn't have asked for more. 

And then she excitedly told me, 'Look what I bought! Crunchy peanut butter! When i saw it I was like "it's Clarisse's favourite, I have to get this".'

My favourite?? Okayyy.

It's not my favourite actually. Hahaha. Just that I can't think of what else to go with the pathetic strawberry jam toast other than peanut butter - it's a supplement, not a favourite. Nevertheless, being a careless person she is - someone who can misplace 3 earphones in one month, I appreciate the fact that she noticed the peanut butter after seated next to me in the office for the last 1.5 years. 

Whether it's garlic butter, peanut butter or almond butter, it doesn't matter. Just by knowing that someone remembers little things about you, that is a kind of happiness.

peanut butter, with love

Being engineers, we were taught to always travel with a first aid kit whenever out and about.

So before we left, she asked if I've got a first aid kit.

I said Err...no? I only have band-aids. That's my first aid kit. Haha.

She said Oh ya same...Hahaha. I have band-aids and wet tissue. 

Two hopeless ladies. Lol.

And then, off we go to face the day's challenges.

On our way to the Green Camp

The said "hard" walk

Hot hot hot. 35 degrees.

Even sunblock melts under the sun. 

It was a steep hike.
It was tough going up due to the lack of stamina and hard going down due to the slippery loose stones.

Seconds before/after I fell into the gap
 right next to my left foot.
Obstacles on my left, right, down, and above.

Everytime I go on a hike, I either faint, dehydrate or fall. It's a curse. Haha.

This time, it was a fall.

It was so painful that I thought I've sprained my ankle or fractured some bones.

And Miss Reggie was just sitting on some high rocks recording my fall while saying, 'Hahaha. Clarisse is struggling to get herself up, and still holding on to her fan.' 

Zzz.

Thankfully, the ankle was tough and the bones were strong. Just some bruises and scratches.

So much for joking about the first aid kit right.

Some random bugs also stung my ass while I was resting. Bugger.

First, I thought it's just this...

Then, there was more intense pain elsewhere...
And I found this.

Also on the hand...

We went on to do a few minor hikes.
And a medium difficulty - Governor's Walk.

View from the summit of the Governor's Walk

On the way out, the engineer has to stop for a photo of this rail overbridge with some 'impressive' crash beams/columns. Ahhhh.....give me a break.

The hopeless co-driver taking a selfie.

Random shot of me.

  

The Sawn Rocks

Final spot of the day - Sawn Rocks.

Amazing rock formation.

Baa baa white sheep crossing the road.

We drove for at least 160 km (return) today.
Bumped into kangaroos, sheep, and lizard along the way. 

Gotta depart early tomorrow and get into Sydney before the traffic builds up on Pacific Highway.

That's all from Mount Kaputar National Park for now.

There are camp sites around the national park with hot shower, drinking water, and bbq facilities. If I could find some camping companions, I shall be back.

All in all, it's a beautiful place with half the crowd you'll see in Blue Mountains and the Royal National Park. 

The plain fields are so huge, it seems boundary-less which reminds me of Tibet. 

Travelling with random people isn't all that bad. Perhaps because our personalities kinda compliment each other?

It all started with me trying to keep her companied. But I guess in the end, we were each other's company in the otherwise lonely long weekend.

More than 1200 km covered in 3D2N.
Thanks for the impromptu 526 km.

impromptu 526 km Part #1

if it makes someone's day, why not?

The usual question to be asked on Fridays is What's the plan for the weekend?

Being a long weekend, it's even more unavoidable. My answer was No Plan for the whole of Friday morning. 

Until my ex-colleague/friend text me at 10am asking if I had something planned for the weekend. I said No wassup?

She proposed a 500 km, 6 hours drive northwest of NSW for a FEW hikes in the Mount Kaputar National Park. 

Ok. Maybe I shouldn't have asked after all. Hahaha. I'm not really in the mood to be on-the-go. Just felt like hibernating indoor for 3 days.

She couldn't find anyone to go with her and really wanna make use of the long weekend to go as far as possible. Blue Mountain's for normal weekend she said.

T_T

Oh my. I'm not good at rejecting offers. And it's disappointing to get rejected, I try not to.

I waited for a couple of hours for anyone to come up with other plans so that I can 'reject' the hiking plan more appropriately. Unfortunately, haha, it seems like I don't have that many friends with that little plans to occupy me for a weekend.

Why not make her weekend less lonely? That makes two less lonely people in the world. Hehe. If I were in her situation, it'll really make my day if someone would just say Yes to my random last min crazy plan.

So in the arvo, I replied Okay to the 500 km, 6 hours, and couple of hikes. Whatever this leads me to, come what may. I told her I'm very UNFIT - the last time I trained for a hike was May 2014 - I don't have a walking stick and hiking shoes.

She ensured me that I'll be fine, sneakers are fine and the "hard" rating is meant for old people to take note, young people should be ok. 

Well, we'll see if I faint tomorrow. 

She then said she's gonna try book the motel for 3D2N. 

I was like What??!?! 3D2N?? Not 2D1N?? Don't even know what situation I'm putting myself in before agreeing to it. 

Gosh. There go my laundry, tax return, house-vacuuming, toilet and kitchen cleaning, white rice in the fridge since Monday, snuggling in bed for the entire morning...and so many more.

The accommodation was booked in less than 10 mins - the efficiency of a senior engineer with some lack of patience. Haha. 

Next, is the car. She said we can use her car for the trip cos it now has 4 new tyres! (Yay!) AND no radio (Not yay). Hahaha.

I said that's ok, we can enjoy the sounds from the new tyres. Lol! Bringing me to Holland, really.

I was so unsure about this very impromptu trip - planned and booked in 10 mins at 17 hours prior to departure. Only left with a couple of yours to pack and buy the necessities for the hikes. Plus, I haven't been on a trip with her before, tho we've known each other for 5 years or so. She could be quite opinionated, maybe that's a plus since I prefer not to make decisions.

526 km,  6 hours 6 mins.
It took us 7 hours with 2 stopovers.

Not a bad drive after all. It was hard trying to
keep myself awake the whole time though.

I thought of offering to take over the driving task only to find that it's a Manual car. Lol. The last time I operate a manual car was 13 years ago for my driving rest. Sorry, all I can do is to be a responsible co-driver - stay awake and navigate.

Indeed a motel.

My hiking companion.

Rest for now.
Tomorrow will be a challenge. *fingers crossed*

random

it's okay to miss transport. just catch the next one.

Yesterday, the day started off with:

- Missing a bus by 1 min.
- Then waited at home for 11 mins for the next bus only to miss it by 5 secs - what a pain!
- Waited for another 10 mins for the 3rd bus.
- Arrived at the train station with 2 mins left for the train to depart AND all the sleep-walking humans in front of me. People should learn to keep left if they're walking slow or not in a rush. Sigh!
- Missed the train by 3 secs!
- Next train is due in 15 mins.
- Got into the office slightly after 9 am, usually it's before 8.30 am.
- Time spent waiting for transport was 35 mins while time spent on the tranport was 20+ mins - not impressed at all.
- Bumped into a colleague in the lift. As usual, the opening line was, How is it going?
- I was in a state of despair, still couldn't get over the 35 mins. So I replied, 'Bad.'

Hahaha. Yeah, most of the time people expect positive answers but NO, I just couldn't pretend to be positive. He was taken aback by my answer, we were both mute for a moment, then we burst out laughing. I told him, 'Sorry, I missed 2 buses and a train this morning! Aih~ That's 35 mins gone.'

We parted ways when we got into the office.

And then it's the senior's birthday. Hmm...Libra?  Hahaha.
My experience with Librans is they love putting themselves through tough situations, refuse to choose the easy way out.
No wonder he has the tendency to piss me off again and again despite always getting the 'death' stare from me. Being a Libran, I think he enjoys the stares. Hehe.

So in this office, if it's your Birthday, you don't get a cake.
Instead, you have to buy yourself a cake to serve everyone.
If it falls on a public holiday, bring the cake in on the next business day.

Hehe. Guess who is the drama-maker?

Yucky Blackforest.

Today, I couldn't be bothered to check the bus and train timetables.
The more I check, the more I tend to miss them.
Took me 30 mins to get to the office, including 10 mins of waiting time.
Slow and easy.
I realise whenever we try to get precise with timing, we always end up building unnecessary stress.

Ok. No more checking timetables in the morning.

End of story.

lessons to learn

everyone is our life teacher.

During the team lunch, our 34 year-old engineering manager was asked about the million dollar home he bought two weeks ago. A humble and low-key person he is.

Here are some of his thoughts for sharing (in blue):

- It's a good area with a number of good schools there. There's a national park behind our backyard, nice neighbourhood, peaceful environment. 

- I was thinking if I never do it now at this age, it would get harder in the future. I'd probably not buy anything in the end. It's now or never.

- The key is to start young. 

- I started with a one-bedder before I sold it for a small house. And then I sold the small house for this one, which I wouldn't be able to afford otherwise.

I couldn't agree more with him.
He has moved from a mediocre suburb to a hippy upbeat suburb, and now to a prestigious suburb in Sydney's north, at the same time every time he moved, the size got bigger.
Start small and low, one day you'll get somewhere.

It's like how snowballs are made. We start from a mini palm-sized snowball and roll it until it gets to the size we want and to where we want to place it.  

Many youngsters these days would eliminate this 'rolling' process because they have their parents to pay for the big snowball located readily at where they want it to be.
Not everyone is born with such luck, including myself. Hehe.

The size, location, and other tangibles of the house may impress people for a bit but it's the stories of how you get there and what you've been through before getting there that will make a lasting impression.

While we were all digesting his words, there were a few seconds of silence till he said:

Funny how our priorities change over time.

Priorities - something I've been thinking about quite often recently.

When that sentence was uttered; if we were animation characters, he would be the noble psychic and I'm the ordinary girl with popping eyes and standing hair like Can he read my mind?!?! Haha.

Back then, we bought the house in Annandale because we wanted to live near the local cafes, the bars, somewhere not too far from the city. But after the kids came, Nah...who cares about cafes anymore. Lol. We just move on..... 

Move On - something which puts me at where I am today - new job, new place, new friends...

Priorities gives us a better sense of purpose and direction.
Move On gives us the courage to leave our existing state behind.

Funny how the things he randomly talked about kinda hit the right spots like in an acupuncture therapy.

Apart from his humble and soft-spoken personalities, another thing I admire about him is that he drives a uber old Toyota-Whatever (don't even know which model it is - must be at least 20 years old) which belongs to his mum-in-law. I sat in the backseat of the car, with biscuit crumbs all over the seat and bottom. It's window controls are broken and the back tyre suspension gives a freaking creaking noise. For a moment I thought when we get back to the office, there might be only 3 tyres left. Lol.

How many people in their late 20's to early 30's would consider driving a 'scrap metal' on the road while investing on assets?
Most would rather drive a fancy European car while renting in expensive suburbs.

It's not the old car which impresses me. It's his humbleness and mentality to plan ahead.
A driver of a $1000 borrowed car, owns a million dollar home in Pymble, and stays humble.

This is what makes a lasting impression.

monday joke

if the heart is good, everything else follows

Admin: I'm planning to go get Botox for my face.
Staff: Hey?
Admin: I say I'm planning to get Botox for my face, so I don't look angry all the time.
Staff: Oh, you sure it helps?
Admin: Yeh, I'll ask them. Maybe do it around here. (pointing at face)
Manager: You rather look 'surprised' than angry? Hahaha...
Admin: Ya I don't mind looking surprised at all, or stone-faced. Just not angry.
Everyone in the neighbouring cubes: *pretend it's not funny, don't laugh please*

Once a victim of her uncontrolled temper, I wished I had the courage to go tell her, 'It's not your face which is angry. You're just angry in general.'

Botox won't help.
It all comes from the heart.

Quote by Roald Rahl:

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

back-stab

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空

One of the simplest approach to a peaceful life is not to interfere with the life or practices of others. 

In other words, leave things/people alone when it's really none of your business.

And if you really can't help but have to voice it, don't use the back-stab approach.

Today's one of those days when I feel like I could win a wrestle with a bull.

I'm like a lioness on guard, ready to pounce.

But the better of me reminded myself to stay calm and composed, I'll be the bigger person today. 

So the admin wrote an email to my leader indicating:

Has she cleared her desk?

1. Her desk is like a garbage dump.

2. I cleared 4 dishes from her desk last weekend and put them in the dishwasher.

3. Office is a place for work and not for cornflakes.

4. blablabla...

The leader did not know how to respond to the admin and did not know how to pass the message on to me so he showed me the email instead.

He certainly underestimated the 'fire' in me. LOL. 

Sleeping volcanoes are the worst when they explode.

So I asked him:

Is there anything to do with her if my desk's messy? 

No wonder the glasses were missing on Monday. I did not ask her to clear that. Why was she removing things from my desk? Why is she complaining after doing things which no one told her to do in the first place?

And what's wrong with having food under the desk? The 'cornflakes' are less of a hazard than the drawers and backpack you guys have under your desk. 

Can't she tell me herself? What's with this email?

He replied: It's ok. It's ok. If that's what she wants......

Very quickly, I threw all the papers (wanted or unwanted) into the paper bin. Food into the drawers, stationery into a paper bag. What's left on the desk now is a keyboard, mouse, glass of plain water, calculator, and a desk phone. Let's see whose desk is more like a dump now. Wtf.

To respond to the 3 points above:

First of all, please be more ethical and not bitch behind people's back especially in a 'professional' working environment.

1. Please have some 'respect' for others and use appropriate words in professional environment. A MESSY desk is not a garbage dump. Does it stink? If it did, does it matter to you given that you're 10 metres or so away. Mine your own business. Do only what's on your job scope. I'm sure it doesn't include 'making sure other people's desk does not look like a dump'.

2. Did you ask permission to remove my 'dishes'? I haven't even raised questions as to why the two glasses of plain water miraculously disappeared over the weekends. PLAIN WATER. Not any food or 'dishes' as you claimed they were. ETHICS 101: Don't touch things which don't belong to you and not on your desk.

3. Office is a place NOT JUST for work. And to correct you, I haven't had cornflakes in decades. See clearly before you start accusing blindly. If I may say, office is also not a place for you to blend your whatever diet juice in the kitchen. Blenders are for home.

And after cleaning, the leader said thanks for cleaning up.

I looked at him from the sides of my eyes and told him: Ya...she better not come near me now, I'll bite.

He then told me, 忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空. Haih, maybe I shouldn't have shown you the email.

Me: If I didn't 忍, I would have confronted her for what she did. Thanks for showing me that email, otherwise I wouldn't know why she was acting funny when I saw her in the kitchen yesterday.

I'll be a forgiver today.

Thanks for the opportunity to train my patience.