not ours to keep

not ours to keep

We only had 5 days of 2017 with you before you left us to the other side of the beautiful world.

As unexpected as things could be, this is not something I'd thought would happen. Ever.
I ached. For you, for your mum, your dad, and everyone in the family whose life you'd been a part of.

The trip back home in Nov 2016 which I dreaded much, became the most 'unregrettable' trip as I saw you for the last time.

Thanks for the wonderful 714 days.
Watched you grow from a grumpy-looking baby to a beautiful and adorable toddler.
Thanks for the wake up call, reminding us to appreciate everyone around us as tomorrow might not come.
Thanks for the lesson you gave us, so we know what to do better next time.
Thanks for having me in your life and allowing me to be in yours.

To those who thought losing a niece was easy, wait till you have one whom you love and care like she was your daughter.
To the few who felt my pain, thanks for the understanding texts and for crying with me.
Thanks for being there in hiding - that's just what I needed.

To my little angel, you will be missed.
Do visit my dreams every now and then, till we meet again.

This never made it to you.
And shall be passed on to the next person who could use it.

2017

it's the crowd that matters

New year is always associated with resolutions and fireworks.

As per 2016, I spent new year eve at home.
It's not the most exciting thing to do on 31st Dec but it sure was quiet, peaceful, and lots of time to reflect on the year to pass.

2016 was very eventful - the tough old job, 4 overseas trips, 'maid' for two weddings, moving home, interview, new job (worked 60 hours a week, including some weekends); that when it got to the xmas break, I finally have 10 days to slow down, reflect, recharge, and relaunch.

All I wanted to do was stay home for a quiet night and spend the last hours of 2016 with families and friends who hoped to spend the same with me. Though just virtually, it's better than none.

While my flatmate watched TV and I chatted to people over Whatsapp, we had cider and talked about 2016 in general.
What happened, what could be done better, what hasn't happened, what we want to see happen, what would 12 months of 2017 be like, what should we be working towards?

When the clock ticked into 2017, my sisters watched the Sydney fireworks 'with' me. Lol.
Thanks Sydney for the free broadcast.

It was a great closing to 2016 and opening to 2017.

Spent the next two days 'visualising' how 2017 should be.
The conclusion was career advancement, more quality me-time, and self-improvement.

in memory

time does not wait, does it

On Boxing Day...

Just when everyone's in the jingly and merry mood of Christmas, I received news that my school mate SL's mum has passed away.

She had been ill for the last one year, diagnosed with leukaemia.

Each time I make a trip home, we barely have chance to meet as SL is based interstate.
In my last trip home in November - to attend a friend's wedding - we finally met but I didn't manage to visit her mum.
I asked about her mum. In an optimistic tone, she said her mum's recovering.
She also told me about how they almost lost her early this year.

I reminded myself that I shall bring aunty some Australian fig when I go back in January (assuming all elderly loves fig and assuming she's on the path of recovery).
*For the last decade, I didn't realise Australia is famous for fig. It's time to repay what I've missed.

I remember sending this to SL.

Aunty saw it, laughed and said 'siaopo wy'.
She then told us to 'take some leaves, meet more guys. Everyday work work work....'
I thought since she could laugh at jokes and advise on how to meet guys, she should be genki.

The news of her passing came to me as a shock.
For a moment, I couldn't figure if the news was real or it's something which runs in my subconscious mind.

I thought of the figs which never will make it to her.
I thought of the last joke.
I thought of how she spoke my name.
I thought of how she might have suffered.
I thought of who should I pass on the news to.
I wondered if SL's fine.

I went to bed with these lingering in my head.

The next day, I wrote SL a text.
As usual, she sounded 'fine'.
I don't know how else I can help apart from feeling sorry.

Memories flashed back.

When we were in Form 4, we once had to bring chopsticks to school. I can't recall what was it for.
SL brought a pair of beautiful shiny silver chopsticks while everyone else had the cheap-looking plastic/wooden ones.
Right before the school bell rings, aunty arrived to pick SL up.
I saw her.
I put my hand out the window, waved to her while holding the pair of silver chopsticks.
She saw me first and then the chopsticks. Lol.
SL was given a long lecture at home after, because she took the chopsticks without permission.
It was all my fault as I flashed them in front of aunty's eyes. Lol.

After finishing high school, I came to Sydney and SL went to Ukraine for university.
Our summer breaks were 6 months apart from each other. We barely met anymore.
On one of her birthdays in Klang, I got my sis to buy some roti canai's and deliver to her house as a surprise.
It was more of a surprise for aunty to find the roti hanging on the gate.

These are some of the few memories made with her.

I'm blessed to have you in my journey.
Thanks for having me in yours too.
May you be in a better place, watching after us.

As much as I'll remember your cheerful face and voice,
I'll also remember this, 'take some leaves, meet more guys'.

Love,
wy

nephew #2

a child and all the comfort in the world

While on a video call with my sister last night, my dear nephew came to interrupt.
He randomly said to me...

A: 二姨，我不能进去这个screen leh. (pointing at the screen).
Me: 进去screen? 为什么你要进去呢？你要来找我吗?
A: 我不能进去。我要去梦中。
Me: 梦中？Ok. 你可以在梦中见到二姨。我们在梦中meet咯。
A: 嗯。Hehe.

Perhaps he saw that I'm alone and wanted to be by my side?
Such a darling, as always.

For this season of love, hope, and joy, my sis got him to send out greeting cards to our loved ones far and near.
While he prepares the cards, he says his wishes and prayers for the respective recipients.

Greeting cards for loved ones.

Wishes for Eryi.

This kid has the most sympathetic and empathetic heart.
Who is sensitive with people's feelings.
Who is always making sure that no one is upset.
Who hopes that no one will be left alone in this world.
Who always gets worried when someone is unaccompanied, hence he always wants to make sure someone is with/around me while on video call. If he sees no one else, he would ask 二姨有谁跟你一起？二姨你一个人吗？二姨ML阿姨在哪里？
He just has to know that I'm not alone.

Thanks for coming into our lives, bringing joy and laughter with you.
As much as you're here to learn and grow, we are also learning from you as you grow each day.
Thanks for assisting us in becoming better adults.
Thanks for being the constant reminder, prompting us to be kind and patient.
Thanks for just being you.

Lastly, great thanks to the parents who brought up this wonderful kid.
It's the EQ not IQ which will help us through the hiccups in life and also make this world a better place.

nephew #1

ever so sweet

My darling nephew is the sweetest.

From he was under a year old, whenever the video call gets through, I'll see a pair of excited eyes on the screen.
When he first learned to speak, the excited eyes would be accompanied by him calling out 'Ay!' (baby's language for er-yi 二姨).
He has grown out of the 'Ay' period, now it's his 1 year old baby brother's turn to be calling me 'Ay'.

So one night while on video call, I told him to teach his baby brother to say ER-YI.

M: 可以教弟弟叫二姨吗？
A: Ok. 弟弟叫二姨。二，姨。弟弟叫二姨。二，姨。

The baby ignores him.

A: 弟弟叫二姨。肚子饿的‘饿’姨。

Chinese could be confusing at times.
Doesn't matter Darling, you'll get there one day.
Thanks for the entertainment. LOL.
Love you to the moon and back!

if someone died today...

not always a happy ending

Something to think about...

If I died today, would you be satisfied with the last conversation we had?

If you died today, would I be satisfied with the last conversation we had?

If any of us died today, would I regret that a conversation didn't take place?

Familiar faces flashed through my mind.

- My sis - our last conversation was about me brushing her off when all she wanted was to vent her frustration. She hasn't been heard for more than 24 hours.

- My grandma - I can't recall the last conversation we had just cos I haven't called home for awhile.

- A friend - we haven't talked for a long long time cos all of a sudden I'm not sure if what I see is what I know and what I hear is what I'm not supposed to know. If one party isn't sharing openly and has so much to hide, would it be sustainable? It takes two to tango isn't it? I can't be dancing on my own all the time. Till I figure this out...

If they died today, no, I won't be fine.

If I died today?
Family will be hit hard.
But friend would just move on, I believe.
We're unique to our family, but to friends, we can always be replaced with another.
Oh well, C'est la vie.

Reminder:
- Be kind and empathetic with our speeches.
- Keep in touch with people we care. 'Busy' is never an excuse. 'Tomorrow' may never come.
- Keep conversations in a healthy state such that there's no regret whatsoever.

Random conversations from today:

- My roommate - I showed her proof of how farting could burn calories and she went zzzz. Lol.

- A friend - where I told him about my diarrhoea, he said I needed practice and reminded me to drink plenty of water. And then went on to talk about Clash of Clans - zzz What's new?

blessed

blessed is a feeling. 

blessed is
having people to count on when in times of need.

blessed is
having people to count you in when in times of joy.

blessed is
seeing a familiar face when you haven't met one in days.

blessed is
having someone to entertain your randomness.

to all of you

thanks for helping me with the air tickets.
thanks for opening your Melbourne door by default for me.
thanks for having me in mind as a company.
thanks for the random free lunch and chatter.
thanks for the impromptu 360 km.

you may not realise the little things you do or say would have meant a lot on the other side.

thanks for just being here or there.

rest assured, I'll be here for you to count on. whenever, wherever, whatever.

my dear sister

blessed to have sisters

These days, it's hard to find travel mate.
Perhaps the places I want to go are not appealing to many - India, Myanmar, Nepal.

Shopping
Food-hunting
Spa and massage
Luxurious hotel or homey Airbnb
High tech world-class transportation

In exchange for...

Dusts
Dirty food
Polluted city
Dodgy motel
Traffic jam
Charcoal pills
And immeasurable life experience, which can never be 'shared' on Facebook or 'posted' on Instagram.
Sadly, if it can't be 'seen', it won't be popular.

The few who might be interested are in Msia and Singapore, with different holiday periods it's hard to get a mutual period and length of travel.

After repeating (as usual) a few times to my sis about not being able to find travel mates to Myanmar, I think she had enough of listening to the same whinge over and over again.

Despite always nagging me for travelling to ulu places - end up with food-poisoning and had to visit the local hospital, out of contact for a few days due to bad reception, altitude sickness, delayed flights, etc. - she signed up as my Myanmar travel mate.

Haha. You're the best!

I know I'm sometimes (maybe always) unpredictable, random, out of the norm, lazy in planning, lazy to check for cheapest prices, make quick decision and deal with the issues later, bad in time scheduling, etc.

Maybe in other words, I'm not an organised traveller and not the best travel partner.

Thanks for still willing to jump on this 'sinking' ship.

I don't wanna do anything less than 7 days and I also know it's hard to leave the baby behind for more than 7 days, hence I really don't wanna drag her along with me - especially knowing that it won't be some kind of luxurious, pampering, eat-till-you-drop trip.

Can change place, don't change me

I said I can find other people to come with me so she won't have to.
She insisted to come.
Not for the sake of seeing places.
More of being my company and being in my company.
I appreciate that.
It's something you can never get from a normal friend.
And something people without sister will ever understand.

The whole bunch of things friends will consider before accompanying you to anywhere or sparing just few hours of their time are:
- why, where, how, what, when, who
- destination
- purpose
- budget
- annual leaves
- work commitment
- weather
- their partner
- their interests
- their pet
- their diet
- their me-time
- their savings plan
- their sleep
- anything you would never think of...

Sometimes, I use these 'excuses' myself.
The 'excuses' may be true to some extent, but the better truth is, the company isn't right.

And 'friends' will probably take...
A year to decide if they wanna go on a holiday with you.
6 months to decide if they wanna invite you to a holiday with them.
3 months to decide if they wanna visit you.
1 month to decide if they wanna spend the next long weekend with you.
1 week to decide if they wanna spend the next weekend with you.
3 days to decide if they wanna have dinner with you.
Just because there are so many other people and things who/which come before you. That's what waiting-list is for.

Truly, there is only ONE main reason - you are not the person they wanna spend time with.

Other than giving me life, the next important thing that Mum gave me are my lovely sisters. Couldn't have asked for anything else.

I'm also appreciative of my other non-biological sisters who entered my life by fate.

One offered to accompany me to Myanmar, though she can only do 4 days due to family commitment, I'll have to do the remaining 3-6 days on my own. Well, at least she tried. And no, the last thing I want is for people to sacrifice for me, so she's not allowed to come along. Haha. 

In the end of the day, what's important is the quality of the company. Destination doesn't matter.
In order to be able to travel together, we decided to choose a nearer place, for under 5 days.

'Change place and not change her'.

Oh Myanmar...I shall visit you when a travel mate comes along.

All of you, thanks for loving me. I love you too.

communication skills

communication, bridges to all minds

This week, we had one full day of communication training at work.

The course first helps us to identify and understand ourselves better and then, identify the behaviours of people around us be it families, friends, or colleagues. By knowing the behaviours of others, we could then communicate using a better approach.

I find this course well-needed as we are all new to the company where no one has worked with anyone in the office for longer than 6 months. Hence, no one can really tell the true behaviour of another person yet. It comes to a point where we start to get frustrated at times with particular people in the office.

For example:
- The admin and her fussy house-keeping rules
- People not replying emails
- People not aware of meeting agendas

The course identifies 4 types of people - the purple, yellow, red, and blue.
The trainer plays a set of slides with over 50 characteristics for each of these colours. Each time a characteristic for a certain colour describes you, give yourself one point for that colour. The colour with the highest points is your main 'dot', second highest is your second 'dot', and so on.

Below are what I can recall from the course:

Purple
Free and easy
Relaxed
Think into the future
Optimistic about the future
Always need to see the bigger picture of things
Don't like to be asked about details
Not reliable
Exaggerating
Short attention span
Unable to focus on 'now'
Were school trouble-makers
Start strong, finish poor

Yellow
Attention to details
Needs to have ALL details of things
Puts importance on time, quality, making things look very nice
Completes tasks in a timely manner
Organised
Punctual
Inflexible
Have their own idea to do things
Lone worker
Not a good team player
Not approachable
Critical
Aggressive
React without fully-listening

Red
Attention to details
Loves themselves
Lack of emotions
Reluctant to change
Clarity
Direct, straight to the point
Hates people beating round the bush
Gives short and precise replies, holds back on details
Types email in bullet points
Solve problems
Delivery focus
Dominant
Reliable
Loyal
Patient
Forgive but not forget
Always perceived as introverted
Never complains until close to explosion
Win-win or lose-lose, win-lose doesn't exist

Blue
Never shows their guts
Cooperative
Sincere, no hidden agenda
Good at giving 'kind' feedback
Not sociable
Procrastinates
Kind
Caring
Approachable
Takes a long time to make decisions or make up their mind
Over-sensitive
Takes things personally
Emotional
Hates to be called stupid
Avoids confrontation

Purple and blue are people who work with 'feeling'.
Red and yellow are people who work with 'thinking'.

It turns out that out of 21, we have 14 reds, 1 yellow, 3 blues, and 3 purples.

It explains why most of the emails circulating in the office are in bullet points and very lack of emotion, why most of us love giving short replies and never automatically elaborate ourselves. I have to admit, it makes the office atmosphere very robotic and task-oriented. The 'reds' also think that we are fine being called stupid - lack of the 'blue' elements in us.

The ones who organise social stuff, give out chocolates, and bake cakes turn out to be blue dot people.

The ones who love to talk, relaxed, ignore deadlines, never finish the things they start, are miraculously the purple dots.

The lonely yellow dot, turns out to be our dear Miss Admin. LOL!!!

Now that we know each other's colours, it allows us to accept each other's way of doing things - why some people are slack off, why some people are inflexible, and why some are emotionless. Haha.

People's dots can be identified through their environment, appearance, and the way they speak.

Purple
Has messy desk
Dirty desk
Whatever
Not able to locate where things are on their desk
Talkative
Easily strike a conversation

Yellow
Tidy desk
Cleans desk at the end of each day
Nicely dressed
Goes for premium brands
Takes pride in their appearance

Red
Papers in stacks
Able to locate things within the stacks
Hates it when stuff are thrown out without their permission
Short, bullet point replies
Practically dressed
Uses worn out clothing

Blue
Personalised desk with photos, quotes, plant, etc
Prefers to work closely with others
Quiet
Courteous
Comfortably dressed

How do we show appreciation to the different colours?

Purple
Thrive for applause
Praise them daily
Never criticise them
Appreciates words more than gift

Yellow
Gives them positive attention
Organise small things for them

Red
Respect them
Give them honest appreciation
Give them 'practical' gifts
Hates surprises
Don't over praise them, else they feel awkward

Blue
Show that you care
Be sincere
Give them personal/thoughtful gift

I scored Red first and Purple second.
The bullet points, the emotionless emails, the one-word replies, the forgive but not forget, the messy stacked up desk, the inability to handle surprises, etc........all so very true.
As for the 'purple' side of me, it would be the 'whatever' attitude, the short attention span, need bigger picture, hate to be asked about details (in terms of work), was not very compliant with school rules....haha.

Coincidently, the top 3 directors in the office have red and purple as their first two dots.
Does it tell something? Hehehe.

The red majority in the office is because of the engineering nature of our job or we became engineer because we were naturally born as red dots?

In other words, the environment shapes us or we were born into it? Maybe a bit of both?

They say everyone's sequence of dots changes over time due to the people around them, the environment their in, their view on life, and so on. I hope I could drop off the red scale one day, takes things more easily, and be more of a 'blue' person with more emotions - except I hope I won't get affected by the word 'stupid'. Haha.

I did a quick check on my sisters, and they are also high on red. Geezz. Can't believe how long I've been in a robotic environment - being a robot, surrounded by robots for all my life. We should all start working on the 'blue' side of things.

In the end of the day, the course helps identify the 'style' of people around us, so that we can appreciate their good qualities, be more acceptable of their ridiculous behaviour, use a better approach in dealing with them, and use each other's strengths in bringing out the best of us.

I'm quite doubtful on the end product of having 15 red dots (and possibly more on the way) in a team - robots talking to each other with no feelings. Hahaha. I hope the minority purple, blue, and yellow won't feel suffocated by the reds. They should stop recruiting 'reds' for now.

All in all, it was a great experience which hopefully makes us all a better person in the society, at home, and at work.

practise to say 'it's okay'

listen. not react.

Have you thought about when in times of tension, whether it be...
When you spill coffee over someone's white pair of sneakers.
When you're late for an appointment.
When you couldn't meet a deadline.
When you accidentally break someone's favourite mug.
When you unintentionally break a promise.
When you did something which would upset someone.

What are the first few words you'd love to hear from these people?

It's okay.
Daijobu.
没关系
Don't worry.
Take your time.

Growing up, these were the words I barely heard. Often, the adults at home or the school teachers would quickly jump into a blaming tone, raise their voice, and start asking questions like...

Why can't you be more mindful?!
Why can't you be quick?!
Why did you do this?!
Who told you to do it?!
Do you know you're wrong?!
Do you have brain?!

Aggressive questioning does not teach a child to be mindful, be quick, be punctual, do the right thing...
Nor does it tell a child that he/she is careless, is slow, is late, is wrong...

It makes the child feel helpless and unable to defend him/herself because people are too quick to judge and blame without trying to hear from his/her point of view.

This was my childhood.

Typical Asian parents philosophies:
- Adult is always right.
- When an adult says you're wrong, you have no right to be right.
- When they start scolding, never defend yourself as it's considered as disrespect and not admitting your mistake, which then results in more severe punishment.
- Adult has all the right to state what you can/cannot do, at the pace they want and at their convenience.

My dad is a typical example of an Asian parent.

Apart from all these lopsided philosophies, he also has bad temper, no patience, frequently vents his anger through the use of foul languages, harmful speech, and aggressive body language.

Once, when I was about 8, we were in the car heading out for breakfast.
He asked what do we feel like having.
No one had any idea or just wasn't fast enough to beat his temper.
In that mere few seconds of silence, he got impatient and let out a threatening sigh.
I got so frightened, I randomly picked something which I wasn't even keen of having.

How hard is it to say, 'It's okay, take your time to think'?

Once, I accidentally dropped soap into the water storage in the bathroom.
I could either ask an adult to help get the soap and get all the scolding.
Or do it myself and save myself from the scolding.
I chose to dodge the scolding.
As the storage was deep, by the time I got the soap out, the water has turned murky.
True enough, when they saw the water, the first sentences I heard were: What were you thinking?! Do you have brain?! 

I do have brain.
It was an accident.
I could have drowned in there.
They were too quick to react than to show concern.
I never had a chance to speak.

Even now as an adult, I still meet people like this - people who are impatient, short temper, and people who like jumping into conclusion so they can start blaming you.

Once, I got out of my office a little too slow and had my flatmate waiting in her car at the bus stop.
The moment I got into the car, she said, 'Why can't you come down on time?! Do you know it's a $200 fine for stopping here?!?!'

Having had enough of these, I couldn't see myself taking the blame without speaking out.
I said Do you know I shut down the pc immediately, didn't even dare use the toilet, the lift wouldn't come what can I do??!! Can you not jump into conclusion and blame people for no reason??!!

I may be slow other times but just not this time.

It is an awful feeling to be misunderstood, blamed, or judged for the wrong reasons.
Over the years, I saw the importance of listening and understanding, rather than reacting.
I admit that I do have traits of a 'blamer' too.
I do get impatient at times and feel really sorry after that.
I am trying to improve on this.

Everyone deserves to be told:

It's okay.
Daijobu.
没关系
Don't worry.
Take your time.

because it only takes one second to be kind and understanding.
But it takes thousands of seconds to be angry and after that, a thousand more to build up the courage to say Sorry.

live to be happy

人生没有不幸福的人，只有不肯快乐的心

Sitting in the bus
There was silence between us
I turned to check if you're sleeping
Your eyes were open
Lacked of energy in them
Daydreaming.

I wished I've taken the chance to ask
What are your views on life
What makes you happy
What makes you sad
What's happiness to you
What's bothering you.

I wished I was more outspoken
I wished you didn't act tough
I wished you knew there are shoulders for you to cry on
I wished you knew it's okay to cry.

I could have told you
Life isn't about
How old you are
How you look
How much time you have left
What you used to have
What you have or don't have.

Life is a journey
Where we wake up each day
To face the truth of impermanence
Things change
We just have to believe it's always for the better.

When asked what two words do I have for you
I said 乐活
To live happily, or
To live to be happy.

我们应该学会在自我满足中找到快乐。
人生没有不幸福的人，
只有不肯快乐的心。
Happiness is within you.

You said you're happy that I'm happy
But really, it's more like I'm happy that you're happy
After all, all we wanted is for each other to be happy.

Happiness is contagious
And it starts from within us.

Goodbye is not to be said with 有缘再见
It will be 下次再见
你要好好的。

in the minds of kids

when naive isn't stupid

While on a bus one day, I heard a 7 year old boy ask his mum: 

Boy: Mum, are you gonna press Stop?

Mum: Yes, but not yet.

Boy: Ok.

Boy: Mum, what happens when you press Stop?

Mum: It will go 'beeeep' so the driver knows that someone wants to get off. And then he'll stop.

Boy: Ok.

Boy: Mum. You know what I thought will happen? I thought the bus will stop immediately once someone presses it. 

I can't remember what was the mum's response. 

Thank goodness it's not what he thought it was. 

Else, seatbelt will be mandatory on buses.

His naiveness reminds me of my nephew when he was about 2.

One day, I was on a phone video call with him, while my sister was preparing dinner.

He told me about his 'car', so I asked if he would bring me for a ride next time.

He said Ok.

The next thing he did was to put me (i.e. the phone) into the compartment under his car seat and manoeuvre around the house with me 'riding' under his seat.

Then his mum came out of the kitchen to check on him only to find him without the phone.

So she asked where's mummy's phone?

He said it's under the seat cos he's bringing 'eryi' for a ride. 

Hehehe.

This still puts a smile on my face every now and then.

The happiness of virtually riding on a plastic car driven by my nephew. :)

my nephew in his bunny cardboard house and car parked in the compound 

When I was 7, I used to think that the expiry date on spring water packaging is the date where the plastic bottle will disintegrate or become unsafe for use - which means it's an expiry date for the plastic and not the water in it.

I was curious to see how the bottles will look like when it expires so I tried to keep them until the expiry date. As bottled water generally has a long life span - at least a year, I never got the chance to see the bottles 'expires' as they often gone missing before the date arrives.

Over time, I grew out of this curiosity. I later found out from science classes that the expiry date can't be for the plastics.

Those were the days...
When our imaginations were wild because we knew less.
And because we knew less about facts and reality.

sisters

sister is the guardian angel for life

They're the ones who know me inside out, head to toe.

They bear with my weirdest behaviour, lamest jokes, and utter randomness.

They endure my worst farts, worst temper, and silent treatment.

They are the reason how I developed the free and easy habit of leaving home with no cash in my pockets because they have cash in theirs.

They have the best ears (or eyes) when I need to complain just about anything.

They let me be myself without being afraid of being judged.

They are there when all things fail.

We are each other's strengths during the toughest times in life.

We are each other's antidote when one's poisoned by irrationality or overwhelmed with enmities.

We hated each other's bf before because he has taken some of the attentions which belonged to us.

We'd ditch our bf for each other because bfs are 2nd class citizens, sisters are 1st.

We share the same love for cleanliness and tidiness but at times the room could be in a complete mess until someone implodes and starts banging things around, the other will start cleaning obediently.

We share one wardrobe. One size fits all. Though I have the smallest boobs, feet, arms, thighs...=P

We sometimes type in the worst grammars, typos, broken english, and caplang language but there's no problem in understanding each other.

We can communicate through eye contact, body language, and facial expression.

We don't back stab each other, we stab from the front.

We'd walk in the room in our undies, who cares who's undressed and who's fat.

We are careful with our spending but when it comes to spending on each other, we become careless. When I see how others are being calculative with their siblings; down to the cents, I can't help but to feel grateful and thankful for having the most generous sisters one could ask for.

We tell each other the darkest secrets for we know it's the safest place and we won't be judged against.

We compliment each other in many different ways - like how I tend to break the needle of the sewing machine and tangle up the thread in it, they'd fix it up for me. How they freak out at a cockroach, I'd 'settle' it for them. How every piece of pork that big sis hates, ends up on my plate. How all the tofu puffs in the bahkuteh pot, end up on younger sis' plate.

We are made for each other as one is a control freak and one is a follower. I'm the 'whatever, leave me alone'.

When one of us got into trouble, the others would stand up and save the situation.

When one of us needs money, we would say 'Here, take my money'.

When one of us falls down, we'll laugh it off before helping her up.

And so so so so so much more........

Love them to the moon and back! Hugs and mwah!

If you ask if I would replace a sister for anything else in the world, the answer is No, for sister is the best 'thing' ever.

For people who don't have sister, you could still find one in your bestest friend. As people say, best friend is the sister God forgot to give you.

I'm also grateful to have a few of these 'forgotten' sisters in my life.

Suddenly feel like I'm the luckiest person on Earth. :)

Tokyo finally!

before the start of every new job, always take a break

After my trip to Tibet last October, my bro-in-law asked where would my next holiday destination be.
I replied India, Nepal.....
His response was, 'WHY?? You don't like Japan? You never want to visit Japan?'
Hahaha.
It's not because I don't like Japan, I simply prefer to experience the undeveloped side of the world.

Because of his very spontaneous response (as if I dislike his country) which left me a little embarrassed and guilty...Japan became one of the 'next' destinations.

I'm not a city-traveler but...

For such a last minute and unplanned holiday, where else to go other than to visit a place where accommodation's readily available, cities are well-connected, there's no way you could get lost, there's no way you would starve as long as you have coins and know how to press a button...

MOST importantly, getting to see your loved ones in a supposedly unfamiliar city...and knowing that they will be anticipating your arrival...

This time, it has to be TOKYO!

A huge Thank-You to my bro-in-law, mum-of-bro-in-law, sister, and baby nephews for the hospitality.

After Singapore and Australia, this is the 3rd developed country I visited.

It's different from my usual holidays.

Here,
I was allowed to make random plans, because the trains go anywhere, anytime.
I didn't need a guide.
I was spoiled with too many choices for food and drinks.
I witnessed a higher level of civilisation.
I encountered vending machines at every corner of the street.
I woke up one morning to learn that I slept through an earthquake.
Coke for as cheap as a dollar.
And so much more...

I was completely wrong with the preconception that big cities are never gonna impress me.

Birthday

every new day is a blessing

I'm not a fan of birthdays. I don't need nice food, great gift, or unlimited boosts.
Just keep it simple, sweet, and quiet.

It's a blessing to be able to wake up for another day. We should celebrate and live meaningfully every day; not just on that one particular day each year.

The highlights of this year's Birthday are:

Blessing#1 - my Nephews
So the day started with me waking up to a worm and a chatterbox by my side.

Blessing#2 - voices heard
Received a gold and silver charm as present from my aunt as I told her that I suspect I'm lack of 'gold' element in my life which explains why I never got a pay raise in ages.

Blessing#3 - the thought that counts
My dear cousin who is fully occupied with 'work, party, rave, repeat' remembered my birthday! She also kept her promise of getting me a present if I made it back home for my birthday. I never expected her to keep her promise, somehow she did. It's not about the present nor the wishes, it's the thought that counts.

Blessing#4 - she cares
My dear 'annoying' friend as I call her, planned a surprise dinner with 3 other friends. She also 'designed' a cake which costs a whooping RM120 (everything is so expensive in Msia!). We picked up the cake together; she said it's OUR cake as our birthdays are only 3 days apart. It didn't occur to me as a surprise at all! She is one great actress and liar; or perhaps I'm dumb?

I received a 'birthday cake' Pandora charm from her and the message goes something like, "Hope this is the last cake that I'm giving you as you would have 'someone' to buy you cakes in the future."
As indirect as it could be, I acknowledge your wish and thanks! Haha.

The RM120 ice-cream cake.

There was also a HUGE birthday surprise by fellow friends in Sydney which I later learned that its success was made up of lots of misunderstandings.
Where A accused B of exposing the surprise to me, C accused A of accusing B, D wanted to help A and B but did more harm than good, and so on...........

Well, well...

If only people could remind themselves that there are always more than one side to a story, they wouldn't have jumped into accusation and conclusion so soon.

All in all, lessons learnt this birthday:

- Count your blessings
- There are more than one side to a story; don't conclude too soon unless you wanna narrate your own story

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!