happy soul

some people are born to add spices to your boring routine

People often say you can't make friends at work. 

It's true, only to some extent.

Colleague could easily be friends if you share the same frequency, happen to have similar interest/topic, and most importantly, at the back of your head, you know you have no reason to compete against each other at work; even if there is reason to do so, you'd prefer not to go there.

I'm not one who loves confrontation and competition of any sort - wherever I am.

You may call me passive, noncompetitive or one who lives in my own fairytale. Haha.

Maybe because of that, work politics aren't in my dictionary. I admit there are some not very nice people around but I tend to ignore them altogether. What you don't see, you won't feel they exist.

What prompted this post was the encounters I had with one funny colleague in recent months.

He is one BIG cheerful old man - when I say BIG, I mean HUGE - in his fifties, loves his wife A LOT, always trying to eat healthily, always admiring the stuff I put into my mouth just cos weight-wise he can't afford to eat what I eat, claims to be a chewaholic (he chews half pack of gum a day), and is one hell of a Joker. 

8 of us were put together in a 'temporary office' which is made up of a small meeting room to get a couple of bridges designed and issued for construction within 2 months. So much stress and ass-tight deadlines. Due to the confidentiality of the project, people who are not part of the team aren't allowed into the 'office'. 8 stressed and lonely souls in a little confined space. If not because of Mr. Big Guy, it'll be so boring.

#1 - When he first saw me eating Crunchy Nut cereal with warm coffee...

Big: o.O What's that? (kepoh and curious) Crunchy Nut? Where's the milk?

Me: No milk. I eat them with coffee.

Big: What?! (overly-shocked) Coffee-coated crunchy nut? Oh wow. I didn't know we could eat it that way.

Me: Yayaya. It's MY way of eating it.

When he saw two other colleagues eating Weetbix and muesli, he told them to also coat their breakfast with coffee.

#2 - After the Easter long weekend

Big: *stares at me from top to bottom*

Me: What???

Big: You look the same. Amazing.

Me: Why would I look different?

Big: It's Easter. Where are the chocolate effects? Easter eggs?

Me: No chocolate, no egg. Hence, no effect.
Big: *sigh*. Look at me. Hate those eggs.

#3 - When there was strong wind and storm outside the window

Me: Oh man, How could I get my lunch in this weather.

Big: o.O *eyes wide on me*

Me: *ready to roll my eyes at his next sentence*

Big: Hey, don't forget to bring your handbag, with all your other stuff in it, and your laptop bag and laptop, and jacket, and whatever heavy stuff you could find here.

Me: ??? So I could head home for the day?

Big: No. No. So you have some additional weights on, and won't get blown away. 

Me: *ROLL eyes*

#4 - When I had Hungry Jacks for lunch

Big: *stares at my food*

Me: ??? Want some? Feel free.

Big: No. No. I can't. 

Me: Why not?

Big: I wish I had your metabolism. How could you stay so skinny with those food you eat?

Me: What's with the food I eat? I don't eat that much, you know.

Big: But you have Crunchy Nut everyday!!!

Me: Huh? That's my breakfast!

Big: Ya. I can't even imagine myself eating them. I'll be like... *gesturing an exploded tummy*

#5 - When I wore a dress one fine day

Big: Something's not right.

Me: What's not right?

Big: You're in a dress.

Me: Oh yes I am.

Big: But you're usually a pants-girl.

Me: I just thought I'd be a dress-girl today.

Big: Right. Holding on tight to Summer, isn't it. And with stokings on, just in case Summer isn't that Summery huh?

#6 - The next day after the dress

Big: Oh look! Jeans!

Me: Yeah, it's Friday?

Big: I know. Ronny you missed out. Clarisse wore a dress yesterday. Now she's back to being a pants-girl.

Me: *roll eyes*

#7 - Whenever his phone rings and it's his wife on the line

The customised ringtone for his wife goes: *siren* *siren*....*frantic voice shouting: IT'S THE WIFE!! IT'S THE WIFE!!*

It never fails to make everyone laugh. And whenever he happens to be away from his desk and misses the call, we'd inform him that THE WIFE called.

#8 - His lame joke

Ron: Can you model (means draw using programme) the bridge?

Big: No, I can't.

Ron: Why not? It's easy. I could show you how.

Big: No. Never. Just can't.

Ron: ??? Why not? Just do blablabla......

Big: Well, look at me (his size)...how could I model anything? No want would want me to model for them.

Ron: .......*roll eyes*

It is conversation like this which keeps productivity going and prevents the brain from falling into resting mode - no coffee-fix needed. 

One Happy Soul in our life is never one too many. He would be one of the people I'd miss dearly if I leave this company one day. 

Last words of you

if tomorrow never comes 

Over the past weeks, the news page has been flooded with news of people passing away.

The crashing of the Germanwings Flight 9525, the passing of Founding Father of Singapore, and the Tunisia museum massacre - to name a few.

The TV showed memorial services held for the unfortunate victims - where their loved ones speak of them in sweet memories.

It then struck me; if I were to die today, what would people say of me in my funeral service?

Have I been a good granddaughter, daughter, niece, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend?
Have I done enough good things to be remembered as an angel?
Or have I been so bad that people struggle to say good things about me?
And the only good things they could think of are actually bad things with sweet toppings?

Would you like to be remembered as:

'She had such bad temper that it reminded me to control my temper.'
'She was always complaining that I learned to be content.'

I wouldn't say I'm the best granddaughter, daughter, niece, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend, but hopefully I haven't done much harm for them to cast a 'bad' vote on me when I leave this world.

We are always reminded to not wait till tomorrow to tell our loved ones how much we love them or apologise to the people we're sorry to.

At the same time, we should also not wait till tomorrow to be the kind soul who leaves positive impact on the life of the people whom we come across each day.

You don't need extra effort to be kind, generous, empathetic sympathetic, and less mean. Do it today and everyday.

me time

Everyone needs some me-time every now and then to refresh the 'self' which was lost amidst the busy life schedule.

It's one of those Sundays when I wake up and feel like I need to do something for myself, on my own, and at my own pace.

I'm truly grateful to be living in the eastern side of Sydney where most famous and impressive cafe's are within 30 mins of travel by public transport and about 20 mins by car.

One of my favourites is the Bourke Street Bakery.

Large mocha $4.50 and the infamous Ginger brulee tart $5.

Yeah, a relaxing Sunday morning for under $10, just 15 mins from where I live.

Something I learned today from the book, "...patience is something you do, not something you have or don't have."

The next time you lose your cool, have a thought about it.
It's not about whether you have or don't have Patience, it's a matter of whether or not you want to be patient.

You haven't lived well nor have you grown much (in every aspect except physically), if every occurrence around you is able to trigger the emotional bit of your mind and heart.

Be in peace with yourself and others. Always.

Birthday

every new day is a blessing

I'm not a fan of birthdays. I don't need nice food, great gift, or unlimited boosts.
Just keep it simple, sweet, and quiet.

It's a blessing to be able to wake up for another day. We should celebrate and live meaningfully every day; not just on that one particular day each year.

The highlights of this year's Birthday are:

Blessing#1 - my Nephews
So the day started with me waking up to a worm and a chatterbox by my side.

Blessing#2 - voices heard
Received a gold and silver charm as present from my aunt as I told her that I suspect I'm lack of 'gold' element in my life which explains why I never got a pay raise in ages.

Blessing#3 - the thought that counts
My dear cousin who is fully occupied with 'work, party, rave, repeat' remembered my birthday! She also kept her promise of getting me a present if I made it back home for my birthday. I never expected her to keep her promise, somehow she did. It's not about the present nor the wishes, it's the thought that counts.

Blessing#4 - she cares
My dear 'annoying' friend as I call her, planned a surprise dinner with 3 other friends. She also 'designed' a cake which costs a whooping RM120 (everything is so expensive in Msia!). We picked up the cake together; she said it's OUR cake as our birthdays are only 3 days apart. It didn't occur to me as a surprise at all! She is one great actress and liar; or perhaps I'm dumb?

I received a 'birthday cake' Pandora charm from her and the message goes something like, "Hope this is the last cake that I'm giving you as you would have 'someone' to buy you cakes in the future."
As indirect as it could be, I acknowledge your wish and thanks! Haha.

The RM120 ice-cream cake.

There was also a HUGE birthday surprise by fellow friends in Sydney which I later learned that its success was made up of lots of misunderstandings.
Where A accused B of exposing the surprise to me, C accused A of accusing B, D wanted to help A and B but did more harm than good, and so on...........

Well, well...

If only people could remind themselves that there are always more than one side to a story, they wouldn't have jumped into accusation and conclusion so soon.

All in all, lessons learnt this birthday:

- Count your blessings
- There are more than one side to a story; don't conclude too soon unless you wanna narrate your own story

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

...continue from Back in 2011

The same person, at different timing of our life, plays a different role in making us a better person.

This colleague of mine...

From the very first project in my engineering career, to the second and then third, we never failed to be on the same project office and same team - that's 3.5 years of Patience Training for me. The more I complain to people about him, the more he tends to follow me around.

Exactly 4 years after I wrote about him, it's 2015 and we are still colleagues. Time flies!
We haven't been on a same project for the last 18 months and haven't been in the same office for the last 12.

He is:
One ego-man,
who boasts about past experience,
exaggerates his olden days stories,
always mentions his wife whenever he's got a chance (if there's no chance, he'll create one),
tends to fall sick quite often during the cricket season; when he comes in after a day of sick leave, we'll ask him 'How was the game yesterday?' and he'll always smile back because we knew him too well,
and is the King of 答非所问 (his answer doesn't relate to your question); after going on for 10 mins, he still hasn't got to the point of answering your question.

Without his presence, it's more peaceful in the office. Less talking and no boasting. That also means that, it's all work and no fun because we are missing a joker character in the team. Hahaha.
Me and my other colleague would joke about how much we miss having him around. We love and hate him at the same time.

He recently returned from a project office and started showing off to me the 3D bridge model he created for one of the bridges. I was like, 'Oh Wow!....Oh Wow!....Oh Wow!'. It's no big deal really, hehehe. Reminds me of how I encourage my little nephew whenever he shows me something he achieved.

He also told me that the project urgently requires someone to carry out some design works and he has 'sold' my CV to the team leader. He said, 'I told them you're very good, and fast, and experienced.'

=_=""

He could be merely wanting to boast about how strong our team is or he really thinks I'm good, fast, and experienced. Either way, thanks for 'selling' me away and all the nice things you said of me.

The reason I brought up the previous post is to remind myself of how annoying he used to be once upon a time and how much has changed between us.

I used to dislike him so much so that when I attended a talk on 'How to Deal with Difficult People', he was the main subject in my head. When I attended a Metta Meditation Workshop, the speaker told us to send Metta to the people we dislike, he was the subject which appeared second (because at the time of the workshop there was a more annoying colleague before him).

He is still the same old him - Joker as ever, but the way I see him has changed.
I am still the same old me - maybe a little more patient towards him, and he has learned to appreciate me as a colleague.

The same person, at different timing of our life, plays a different role in making us a better person. People may not change, it's our view and perception that change which makes us able to accept/deal with them now but not then and vice versa. It is the difficult people in our life who will train us to walk the tough.

I'm grateful to have this joker as my colleague. He has certainly trained me well. :)

Back in 2011...

Be nice whenever possible. Live with no guilt.

Below is what I wrote of my 'once-annoying' colleague.

I use 'once-annoying' because I no longer find him as annoying as before.
People may not change, but our view on them could.

MONDAY, JANUARY 31, 2011

annoying brat

Last week,

He came to me with an opened stapler in his hand.

Stretched out his hand so that the stapler could catch my attention.

Obviously, the stapler was bullet-less.

We both said nothing.

I looked straight into his eyes, as expressionless as I could.

He looked at the stapler, waved the stapler at me.

I shook my head indicating 'I don't bloody have bullets for you'.

He continued waving, indicating 'I need bullet now'.

Unwillingly, I gave my one and only bar of bullets to him.

From when he came to my desk with an empty stapler till he left with a loaded one, there was no spoken word between us.

In a discussion,
He wanted to flip the set of drawings but his hands were too short to reach the flipping edge.
He stretched his arm out, 5cm short.
He said nothing.
He asked for no help.
He rested his outstretched hand on the drawing until I lifted my hand to help him flip.

How ego can an egoist be?

How hard is it to walk to the stationery room?
How hard is it to stand up and reach for the edge of the drawings?

How much effort is needed to say 'Please'?

As I sat in the discussion room today, I told myself to smile and BE NICE despite the many conflicts we had throughout the duration of the project.

I found that it's easy to be nice. Difficult to smile.

This person lets me realise how 'disgusting' it is to be someone of his character.

I simply believe, a person like him happens for a reason.
He triggers me to think about whether this is the kind of job I wanted.

He allows others to learn from his mistakes.

We learned without having to commit the mistakes ourselves.
We really have to thank him, but silently - to prevent feeding him with more ego.

It's hard to force a smile, I'll try to be nice though.

the road taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 

And sorry I could not travel both...

~ Robert Frost

Selecting The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost as one of the pieces in the higher education Literature Studies is probably one of the very limited sane decisions the Board of Education of Malaysia has ever made.

Many times in life we are left with too many choices but only allowed for one. Though it's not a life or death decision - life still goes on regardless - the consequence of the decision stays with us for life.

And as mentioned in the poem, it's doubtful that we can go back to where we were and try it all over again with a different route.

"Yet knowing how way leads on to way"

It's the 'way leads on to way' that keeps us busy each passing day. Busy clearing paths just to be able to keep walking (sometimes even knowing that there are better options out there) and never had a chance or time to look around for a more beautiful, more rewarding, more interesting or simply, a smoother path.

Somewhere ages and ages hence, we'd look back at the path we've traveled and wonder 'Oh my, wth was I doing?'

  

Staring at this textbook, it makes me wonder if I should continue to clear paths down this route? 

The engineering design industry has reached a state where the design of a structure lies not on the engineer's hand calculations but on what the authority justifies as 'pass', the architect justifies as beautiful, and the contractor justifies as cheap. Design knowledge is not as useful as what the mouth can do. It's at an ailing state.

Nevertheless, I'm thankful to have kept this supposedly 'high-pay' job (not high-pay anymore at the moment), survived 3 rounds of redundancies (not sure if it's fortunate or unfortunate) and still going. If given a chance for take-two, I'd still choose the road taken. 

If I were to look back now, I'd say, 'Wow, what a journey.'

If I were to continue on and look back in 5 years time, I'd say, 'WTH was I doing?'

Hahahaih. Clearly aware of the problem but no Plan B at the moment.

The blur manager said, 'Nothing's worst than a demoralised engineer,'

Smart enough to point this out, but not quite smart for not knowing there are a few of these in his team. 

I'll be happy to see all the hands leave over time.
Mouth alone can't do all the paddling. :)