...continue from Back in 2011

The same person, at different timing of our life, plays a different role in making us a better person.

This colleague of mine...

From the very first project in my engineering career, to the second and then third, we never failed to be on the same project office and same team - that's 3.5 years of Patience Training for me. The more I complain to people about him, the more he tends to follow me around.

Exactly 4 years after I wrote about him, it's 2015 and we are still colleagues. Time flies!
We haven't been on a same project for the last 18 months and haven't been in the same office for the last 12.

He is:
One ego-man,
who boasts about past experience,
exaggerates his olden days stories,
always mentions his wife whenever he's got a chance (if there's no chance, he'll create one),
tends to fall sick quite often during the cricket season; when he comes in after a day of sick leave, we'll ask him 'How was the game yesterday?' and he'll always smile back because we knew him too well,
and is the King of 答非所问 (his answer doesn't relate to your question); after going on for 10 mins, he still hasn't got to the point of answering your question.

Without his presence, it's more peaceful in the office. Less talking and no boasting. That also means that, it's all work and no fun because we are missing a joker character in the team. Hahaha.
Me and my other colleague would joke about how much we miss having him around. We love and hate him at the same time.

He recently returned from a project office and started showing off to me the 3D bridge model he created for one of the bridges. I was like, 'Oh Wow!....Oh Wow!....Oh Wow!'. It's no big deal really, hehehe. Reminds me of how I encourage my little nephew whenever he shows me something he achieved.

He also told me that the project urgently requires someone to carry out some design works and he has 'sold' my CV to the team leader. He said, 'I told them you're very good, and fast, and experienced.'

=_=""

He could be merely wanting to boast about how strong our team is or he really thinks I'm good, fast, and experienced. Either way, thanks for 'selling' me away and all the nice things you said of me.

The reason I brought up the previous post is to remind myself of how annoying he used to be once upon a time and how much has changed between us.

I used to dislike him so much so that when I attended a talk on 'How to Deal with Difficult People', he was the main subject in my head. When I attended a Metta Meditation Workshop, the speaker told us to send Metta to the people we dislike, he was the subject which appeared second (because at the time of the workshop there was a more annoying colleague before him).

He is still the same old him - Joker as ever, but the way I see him has changed.
I am still the same old me - maybe a little more patient towards him, and he has learned to appreciate me as a colleague.

The same person, at different timing of our life, plays a different role in making us a better person. People may not change, it's our view and perception that change which makes us able to accept/deal with them now but not then and vice versa. It is the difficult people in our life who will train us to walk the tough.

I'm grateful to have this joker as my colleague. He has certainly trained me well. :)

Back in 2011...

Be nice whenever possible. Live with no guilt.

Below is what I wrote of my 'once-annoying' colleague.

I use 'once-annoying' because I no longer find him as annoying as before.
People may not change, but our view on them could.

MONDAY, JANUARY 31, 2011

annoying brat

Last week,

He came to me with an opened stapler in his hand.

Stretched out his hand so that the stapler could catch my attention.

Obviously, the stapler was bullet-less.

We both said nothing.

I looked straight into his eyes, as expressionless as I could.

He looked at the stapler, waved the stapler at me.

I shook my head indicating 'I don't bloody have bullets for you'.

He continued waving, indicating 'I need bullet now'.

Unwillingly, I gave my one and only bar of bullets to him.

From when he came to my desk with an empty stapler till he left with a loaded one, there was no spoken word between us.

In a discussion,
He wanted to flip the set of drawings but his hands were too short to reach the flipping edge.
He stretched his arm out, 5cm short.
He said nothing.
He asked for no help.
He rested his outstretched hand on the drawing until I lifted my hand to help him flip.

How ego can an egoist be?

How hard is it to walk to the stationery room?
How hard is it to stand up and reach for the edge of the drawings?

How much effort is needed to say 'Please'?

As I sat in the discussion room today, I told myself to smile and BE NICE despite the many conflicts we had throughout the duration of the project.

I found that it's easy to be nice. Difficult to smile.

This person lets me realise how 'disgusting' it is to be someone of his character.

I simply believe, a person like him happens for a reason.
He triggers me to think about whether this is the kind of job I wanted.

He allows others to learn from his mistakes.

We learned without having to commit the mistakes ourselves.
We really have to thank him, but silently - to prevent feeding him with more ego.

It's hard to force a smile, I'll try to be nice though.

the road taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 

And sorry I could not travel both...

~ Robert Frost

Selecting The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost as one of the pieces in the higher education Literature Studies is probably one of the very limited sane decisions the Board of Education of Malaysia has ever made.

Many times in life we are left with too many choices but only allowed for one. Though it's not a life or death decision - life still goes on regardless - the consequence of the decision stays with us for life.

And as mentioned in the poem, it's doubtful that we can go back to where we were and try it all over again with a different route.

"Yet knowing how way leads on to way"

It's the 'way leads on to way' that keeps us busy each passing day. Busy clearing paths just to be able to keep walking (sometimes even knowing that there are better options out there) and never had a chance or time to look around for a more beautiful, more rewarding, more interesting or simply, a smoother path.

Somewhere ages and ages hence, we'd look back at the path we've traveled and wonder 'Oh my, wth was I doing?'

  

Staring at this textbook, it makes me wonder if I should continue to clear paths down this route? 

The engineering design industry has reached a state where the design of a structure lies not on the engineer's hand calculations but on what the authority justifies as 'pass', the architect justifies as beautiful, and the contractor justifies as cheap. Design knowledge is not as useful as what the mouth can do. It's at an ailing state.

Nevertheless, I'm thankful to have kept this supposedly 'high-pay' job (not high-pay anymore at the moment), survived 3 rounds of redundancies (not sure if it's fortunate or unfortunate) and still going. If given a chance for take-two, I'd still choose the road taken. 

If I were to look back now, I'd say, 'Wow, what a journey.'

If I were to continue on and look back in 5 years time, I'd say, 'WTH was I doing?'

Hahahaih. Clearly aware of the problem but no Plan B at the moment.

The blur manager said, 'Nothing's worst than a demoralised engineer,'

Smart enough to point this out, but not quite smart for not knowing there are a few of these in his team. 

I'll be happy to see all the hands leave over time.
Mouth alone can't do all the paddling. :)