not ours to keep

not ours to keep

We only had 5 days of 2017 with you before you left us to the other side of the beautiful world.

As unexpected as things could be, this is not something I'd thought would happen. Ever.
I ached. For you, for your mum, your dad, and everyone in the family whose life you'd been a part of.

The trip back home in Nov 2016 which I dreaded much, became the most 'unregrettable' trip as I saw you for the last time.

Thanks for the wonderful 714 days.
Watched you grow from a grumpy-looking baby to a beautiful and adorable toddler.
Thanks for the wake up call, reminding us to appreciate everyone around us as tomorrow might not come.
Thanks for the lesson you gave us, so we know what to do better next time.
Thanks for having me in your life and allowing me to be in yours.

To those who thought losing a niece was easy, wait till you have one whom you love and care like she was your daughter.
To the few who felt my pain, thanks for the understanding texts and for crying with me.
Thanks for being there in hiding - that's just what I needed.

To my little angel, you will be missed.
Do visit my dreams every now and then, till we meet again.

This never made it to you.
And shall be passed on to the next person who could use it.

2017

it's the crowd that matters

New year is always associated with resolutions and fireworks.

As per 2016, I spent new year eve at home.
It's not the most exciting thing to do on 31st Dec but it sure was quiet, peaceful, and lots of time to reflect on the year to pass.

2016 was very eventful - the tough old job, 4 overseas trips, 'maid' for two weddings, moving home, interview, new job (worked 60 hours a week, including some weekends); that when it got to the xmas break, I finally have 10 days to slow down, reflect, recharge, and relaunch.

All I wanted to do was stay home for a quiet night and spend the last hours of 2016 with families and friends who hoped to spend the same with me. Though just virtually, it's better than none.

While my flatmate watched TV and I chatted to people over Whatsapp, we had cider and talked about 2016 in general.
What happened, what could be done better, what hasn't happened, what we want to see happen, what would 12 months of 2017 be like, what should we be working towards?

When the clock ticked into 2017, my sisters watched the Sydney fireworks 'with' me. Lol.
Thanks Sydney for the free broadcast.

It was a great closing to 2016 and opening to 2017.

Spent the next two days 'visualising' how 2017 should be.
The conclusion was career advancement, more quality me-time, and self-improvement.