never lose your keys

lessons are best learned through experience

When about to leave home today, I realised I don't have the house keys with me.
With both flatmates out of Sydney, I can't possibly leave the house without my own set of keys.
I searched high and low for it.
And started visualising scenarios if the keys were not found.

- Did I drop it in the garbage room and someone has picked it up?
- Did I leave the keys in the knob after throwing the garbage?
- I can't leave the house without keys, unless I leave the door unlock. But would a thief come by to try his luck and then got lucky?
- I have to cancel my lunch appointment at the very last minute, which is something I really hate doing.
- Can't leave the house = can't go to work on mon and tue until one flatmate returns on wed.
- I can't work from home cos I don't have a work laptop.
- Do I have enough food to last for 3 days? - Yes, heaps of instant noodles, chocolate, and chips.
- Who can come and save me now???

There was no one in mind whom I can call for help.
The feeling of hopelessness crept over me.
What if I'm 70 with no one to my rescue? O.M.G!!!
It's definitely something to think about now before it happens for real.

Anyway, I found the keys under the sofa - not after 30 mins later.
It was a 30 mins filled with what-ifs, gahhhhhhh, kill-me-please, and where-the-heck.

Lessons learnt:
- Check for keys before leaving home
- Pop the keys INTO the bag after getting home - not on or by the side of the bag
- Find a few more reliable friends, at the same time never let the old ones go
- Keep a set of keys with someone whom I can trust

of memories and brush

travel to see what you haven't seen,

explore what you haven't known,

experience what you haven't felt. 

It has been more than a decade

Since I last painted

I got myself a cheap palette,

brush, and colour which looks faded

Painted a house in Nyalam

Occupied by Tibetans

Where ladders replace staircases

And safety doesn't come first

It's been a year since I visited Tibet

Much of it still lingers in my head

More precious than anything money can get A life experience I shall never forget

#missingtibet

incompetent

one good thing about having a bad leader

is you easily become the better subordinate

I had a discussion with the team leader yesterday.
At the end of it, I was so upset/disappointed/frustrated/sad/heart-broken/worried.
I lost confidence in him.
Technically and management-wise, I can't see how he fits in the role.
This was not the first time it happens.

Him: Are you working on changes to this?
Me: No? I thought you say to put it on hold?
Him: Ya. But you can start changing them to suit B.
Me: Sorry? Last week you said we do it according to A. Why are we doing B now?
Him: I'm pretty sure now we have to do B.
Me: Pretty sure? Is that your own assumptions or the client said so?
Him: Just my guess.
Me: zzzz
Him: I'm not sure how busy are you. Are you busy? If not, we can try B now.
Me: Last week you assured that it's A. Yesterday you told me to hold the works. Now you ask me to try B? Do you have a clear direction as to what we have to do?
Him: Not yet.
Me: Do you realise we keep repeating the same task without having a direction? It's heading nowhere.
Him: I thought it's normal to repeat?
Me: *look at him in disbelief* I thought we should AIM at getting things right the first time to avoid unnecessary repetition?
Him: It happens you know.
Me: I know it happens. But that's due to BAD PLANNING! We do without planning and without direction. That's the reason.
Him: Okkk....Let me know if you have any queries.

I turned to face my monitor while he quietly manoeuvre his chair back to his seat with him sitting on it.

We haven't spoken a word to each other ever since and only communicated via emails as of today. Lol.

What it feels like working with an incompetent leader:

- You find yourself repeating one same task over 5 times, with no conclusion and no result.
- You find yourself rowing single-handedly trying to move a kayak of two people.
- You find yourself in unnecessary meetings because he doesn't know how to prioritise what's important and what's not.
- You find yourself in a discussion with him for 30 mins only to realise that he does not know half the things that came out of his freaking mouth.
- You find yourself getting more confused after a discussion than before it.
- You find unnecessary forwarded emails in your mailbox with 'FYI' as the opening.
- You find emails ending with 'let me know if you have any queries' (as if he's ready to answer any questions), but when you ask, his responses are 'I don't know'.
- You find that he keeps checking on your work progress without a freaking idea of how long the work actually requires. Like checking at 30 mins interval for a task which requires 5 days or giving you 5 days for a 15 days task.
- You find that he often contradicts himself because he doesn't know what he wants and what needs to be done.
- You find that his favourite sentences for complicated tasks are 'I'll leave this to you' and 'Honestly, I haven't done this before'.
- You find that he sets a low target for everything he does, 'don't have to do so much until the client asks for it'. Like don't wash the dirty toilet bowl until it turns brown.
- You find that he likes using 'do it by COB xxx' for every task he gives you. Not all task requires a bloody COB deadline!
- You find him saying stuff which leaves you gobsmacked and makes you suspect his career experience. Like when a manual car driver tells you that he drives without ever using the clutch - is he fooling you or he is a fool.

It all comes down to:

- Lack of passion in what he does
- Lack of sense of responsibility
- Lack of planning skill
- Lack of common sense
- Lack of desire to strive
- Lack of motivation
- Lack of meaning at work
- Lack of related technical skills
- Lack of .......just anything you expect from a leader

There's just too much differences in us and our way of working.
It's a long way to go for us till we come to the middle path in our work-relationship.

in the minds of kids

when naive isn't stupid

While on a bus one day, I heard a 7 year old boy ask his mum: 

Boy: Mum, are you gonna press Stop?

Mum: Yes, but not yet.

Boy: Ok.

Boy: Mum, what happens when you press Stop?

Mum: It will go 'beeeep' so the driver knows that someone wants to get off. And then he'll stop.

Boy: Ok.

Boy: Mum. You know what I thought will happen? I thought the bus will stop immediately once someone presses it. 

I can't remember what was the mum's response. 

Thank goodness it's not what he thought it was. 

Else, seatbelt will be mandatory on buses.

His naiveness reminds me of my nephew when he was about 2.

One day, I was on a phone video call with him, while my sister was preparing dinner.

He told me about his 'car', so I asked if he would bring me for a ride next time.

He said Ok.

The next thing he did was to put me (i.e. the phone) into the compartment under his car seat and manoeuvre around the house with me 'riding' under his seat.

Then his mum came out of the kitchen to check on him only to find him without the phone.

So she asked where's mummy's phone?

He said it's under the seat cos he's bringing 'eryi' for a ride. 

Hehehe.

This still puts a smile on my face every now and then.

The happiness of virtually riding on a plastic car driven by my nephew. :)

my nephew in his bunny cardboard house and car parked in the compound 

When I was 7, I used to think that the expiry date on spring water packaging is the date where the plastic bottle will disintegrate or become unsafe for use - which means it's an expiry date for the plastic and not the water in it.

I was curious to see how the bottles will look like when it expires so I tried to keep them until the expiry date. As bottled water generally has a long life span - at least a year, I never got the chance to see the bottles 'expires' as they often gone missing before the date arrives.

Over time, I grew out of this curiosity. I later found out from science classes that the expiry date can't be for the plastics.

Those were the days...
When our imaginations were wild because we knew less.
And because we knew less about facts and reality.

horror flatmate

ignorance is bliss

For the past couple of weeks, I've been in a state of restlessness. 

It's not depression or insomnia or anything along that line; just too much physical and brain activities.

Restless because of the messy and unpredictable bus timing in the morning.

Restless because of the lack of public transport home after 9 pm.

Restless because of a messy and unhygienic flatmate - especially in the kitchen.

Restless because the flatmate has her bf over for dinner and often mess up the kitchen.

Restless because I wonder if the bf secretly stays over for the night.

Restless because the flatmate doesn't know how to operate the washing machine, it leaks every time she uses it.

Restless because the flatmate uses the clothes dryer and it's not even raining.

All these practically keep me 'occupied' before and after I leave home, and then before and after I arrive home.

Missing the bus or travelling after 9 pm basically had me trolling up and down the hilly road almost 4 to 5 times a week - about 30 mins each time.

I've decided not to check the timetables in the morning, just let the buses and trains be. 

Don't chase after them. Wait without expectation.

With the housemate,

I got a little paranoid which results in me on a constant lookout for 'things' to pick on. 

Followed by the cleaning, wiping, washing, and tidying of the mess (if I found any).

To do this on a daily basis is physically taxing, not forgetting sometimes it happens after a 30 mins walk home.

Dead tired.

I eventually decided to not step into the kitchen unless I have to, not open the laundry door unless I have to, and not bother if there is noise from the other bedroom.

Last Friday night, she and her bf cooked dinner together.

These were what I found on Saturday morning:

food scrap

more food scrap

3 piles of rubbish

piled up sink

food for cockroaches?

oily stove

She left home shortly after my shocking discoveries.
I ended up doing all the cleaning, wiping, washing, and tidying for a good one hour, followed by dumping the rubbish.

This is what happens when living with a stranger.
It's almost always never gonna be perfect.
On the bright side, at least she pays rent on time and isn't home on most weekends.

Now kitchen-cleaning is on my weekend to-do-list though more than 90% of the mess is not created by me. Deal with the mess all at once on the weekend rather than being restless throughout the weekdays.

I'll just take it as a Patience training.

After the restless weeks, followed by the decision to ignore the bus and train timetables and take the kitchen cleanliness less seriously, I came across an article on the internet which says:

"The cause of our suffering is not because of other's actions, it's because we make a fuss out of their actions. We become tired (of them/things) because we're constantly on the lookout to pick on them."

As if he's writing about me. LOL!

It can also be applied to other human behaviours or things in general.
Everytime we have the need to complain about someone, we should recall this excerpt from the article and take a moment to reflect on the issue.
The outcome may be different.

stolen lunch

never accuse too early

One of the worst ways to start work after a tiring long weekend is to get in the office and find that some of your belongings have been removed by an 'unknown' force.

Worst still, if it was your lunch. Gahhhhhhhhh

The half-eaten tub of yogurt was missing.
The brand new tub was also missing.
The mayo sauce was missing.

Seriously?? Who would wanna eat someone else's half-eaten yogurt?

Whoever that was, he/she could have spared me the half-eaten tub.
And the mayo was expired by the way.

I stared at the much empty fridge for a couple of seconds. Like wth? What's for lunch?

Then I thought, a thief wouldn't steal in such an unplanned and stupidly obvious manner.
Or maybe he/she is a stupid thief?

There must have been some kind of 'open' fridge-spring-cleaning over the long weekend.
'Open' means to do it openly with or without authority and not hideous about it.

The first person who crossed my mind as The Possible Culprit was the admin. Hahaha. I know I shouldn't...

To prevent causing further abrasion between us, I thought I should let the matter go.

A tinge of reluctance crept over me...in loving memory of my sacrificed yogurt.
It was unopened. It wasn't expired. Did she even check the expiry? Why the need to throw it? She can still clean the fridge without throwing out stuff.

Should I point it out to her or keep mum? Arghhhhh...dilemma.

I opened and closed, opened and closed the fridge. Should I or should I not?

I decided to speak out because it's immoral to throw food and unethical to do it without permission from the owners.
I can't have my yogurt back but I also don't want it to sacrifice in vain.
At least point out to her that the stuff she put into the bin were still EDIBLE.
They could have fed 5 or more empty stomachs.

So I called out for her from the kitchen since she sits just 5 metres away.
I said Ann...did you see my yogurt? There were two tubs last Friday. Now there's none.
She looked a little lost.
I said the fridge looks empty too.
She said she didn't notice the empty fridge until I mentioned. Maybe the cleaner cleaned it last Friday. She'll email them to check.

Okayyy. So it wasn't her?
I was prepared for her to raise her voice at me explaining why the food needed to be binned.
Thankfully, we didn't have to go there.
She was calm and cooperative.
She might not need the anti-angryface botox anymore. Hehehe.

I acknowledge the 'difficult' sides of her.
Sometimes she loses her temper.
Sometimes she gets cranky.
Sometimes she's bossy.
Sometimes she's mean.
As I'm starting to accept her for who she is, I also hope the 'difficult' list doesn't grow any longer.
Luckily it didn't.

She later confirmed that all the fridges in our building were cleaned. But ours was not meant to be one of them. The cleaner did it by mistake. And the building manager will replace all the missing items.

Oh dear cleaner, I hope you didn't put those food into the bin but brought them home instead. Otherwise, you must be dumber than dumb.

Later, my senior told me that his new bag of tomatoes and chili mayo sauce were missing too.
He realised it first thing in the morning and thought it must be Ann who did it (looks like I'm not the only person who suspected her). Lol!
He chose to keep quiet about it just to not make her mad.
Even the Libran backed off this time; I wonder where did my courage come from this morning?
I forgot to ask if he told them to replace 'a bag of tomatoes, some lettuce, and Aldi's chili mayo sauce', that must be funny. Hehe.

Glad that we cleared the mist and didn't accuse the wrong person.
Ann's a nice person after all if we're willing to look pass her flaws.
Let's see if I can apply this on my senior.

impromptu 526 km Part #2

happiness out of little things

Day 2 of the impromptu 526 km.

The morning started off with Reggie watching the Wallabies vs England in the rugby world cup at 6am, in the dark and with a muted tv. I wouldn't have mind the tv noise, really.

Occasionally in my dreams I could hear a female shouting Bummer!, Good Job!, some random cursings, and some wicked laughters. Haha. Reggie being reggie. 

The Wallabies won the game. Yay! Though I know nuts about rugby. Aussie Aussie Aussie!

And then at 8am she got out of her bed and started chanting "Wakey wakey"... such a familiar wake-up call. Lol. 

She then went to make simple lunch of bread+tuna - the usual hiking food.

Looks pathetic but couldn't have asked for more. 

And then she excitedly told me, 'Look what I bought! Crunchy peanut butter! When i saw it I was like "it's Clarisse's favourite, I have to get this".'

My favourite?? Okayyy.

It's not my favourite actually. Hahaha. Just that I can't think of what else to go with the pathetic strawberry jam toast other than peanut butter - it's a supplement, not a favourite. Nevertheless, being a careless person she is - someone who can misplace 3 earphones in one month, I appreciate the fact that she noticed the peanut butter after seated next to me in the office for the last 1.5 years. 

Whether it's garlic butter, peanut butter or almond butter, it doesn't matter. Just by knowing that someone remembers little things about you, that is a kind of happiness.

peanut butter, with love

Being engineers, we were taught to always travel with a first aid kit whenever out and about.

So before we left, she asked if I've got a first aid kit.

I said Err...no? I only have band-aids. That's my first aid kit. Haha.

She said Oh ya same...Hahaha. I have band-aids and wet tissue. 

Two hopeless ladies. Lol.

And then, off we go to face the day's challenges.

On our way to the Green Camp

The said "hard" walk

Hot hot hot. 35 degrees.

Even sunblock melts under the sun. 

It was a steep hike.
It was tough going up due to the lack of stamina and hard going down due to the slippery loose stones.

Seconds before/after I fell into the gap
 right next to my left foot.
Obstacles on my left, right, down, and above.

Everytime I go on a hike, I either faint, dehydrate or fall. It's a curse. Haha.

This time, it was a fall.

It was so painful that I thought I've sprained my ankle or fractured some bones.

And Miss Reggie was just sitting on some high rocks recording my fall while saying, 'Hahaha. Clarisse is struggling to get herself up, and still holding on to her fan.' 

Zzz.

Thankfully, the ankle was tough and the bones were strong. Just some bruises and scratches.

So much for joking about the first aid kit right.

Some random bugs also stung my ass while I was resting. Bugger.

First, I thought it's just this...

Then, there was more intense pain elsewhere...
And I found this.

Also on the hand...

We went on to do a few minor hikes.
And a medium difficulty - Governor's Walk.

View from the summit of the Governor's Walk

On the way out, the engineer has to stop for a photo of this rail overbridge with some 'impressive' crash beams/columns. Ahhhh.....give me a break.

The hopeless co-driver taking a selfie.

Random shot of me.

  

The Sawn Rocks

Final spot of the day - Sawn Rocks.

Amazing rock formation.

Baa baa white sheep crossing the road.

We drove for at least 160 km (return) today.
Bumped into kangaroos, sheep, and lizard along the way. 

Gotta depart early tomorrow and get into Sydney before the traffic builds up on Pacific Highway.

That's all from Mount Kaputar National Park for now.

There are camp sites around the national park with hot shower, drinking water, and bbq facilities. If I could find some camping companions, I shall be back.

All in all, it's a beautiful place with half the crowd you'll see in Blue Mountains and the Royal National Park. 

The plain fields are so huge, it seems boundary-less which reminds me of Tibet. 

Travelling with random people isn't all that bad. Perhaps because our personalities kinda compliment each other?

It all started with me trying to keep her companied. But I guess in the end, we were each other's company in the otherwise lonely long weekend.

More than 1200 km covered in 3D2N.
Thanks for the impromptu 526 km.

impromptu 526 km Part #1

if it makes someone's day, why not?

The usual question to be asked on Fridays is What's the plan for the weekend?

Being a long weekend, it's even more unavoidable. My answer was No Plan for the whole of Friday morning. 

Until my ex-colleague/friend text me at 10am asking if I had something planned for the weekend. I said No wassup?

She proposed a 500 km, 6 hours drive northwest of NSW for a FEW hikes in the Mount Kaputar National Park. 

Ok. Maybe I shouldn't have asked after all. Hahaha. I'm not really in the mood to be on-the-go. Just felt like hibernating indoor for 3 days.

She couldn't find anyone to go with her and really wanna make use of the long weekend to go as far as possible. Blue Mountain's for normal weekend she said.

T_T

Oh my. I'm not good at rejecting offers. And it's disappointing to get rejected, I try not to.

I waited for a couple of hours for anyone to come up with other plans so that I can 'reject' the hiking plan more appropriately. Unfortunately, haha, it seems like I don't have that many friends with that little plans to occupy me for a weekend.

Why not make her weekend less lonely? That makes two less lonely people in the world. Hehe. If I were in her situation, it'll really make my day if someone would just say Yes to my random last min crazy plan.

So in the arvo, I replied Okay to the 500 km, 6 hours, and couple of hikes. Whatever this leads me to, come what may. I told her I'm very UNFIT - the last time I trained for a hike was May 2014 - I don't have a walking stick and hiking shoes.

She ensured me that I'll be fine, sneakers are fine and the "hard" rating is meant for old people to take note, young people should be ok. 

Well, we'll see if I faint tomorrow. 

She then said she's gonna try book the motel for 3D2N. 

I was like What??!?! 3D2N?? Not 2D1N?? Don't even know what situation I'm putting myself in before agreeing to it. 

Gosh. There go my laundry, tax return, house-vacuuming, toilet and kitchen cleaning, white rice in the fridge since Monday, snuggling in bed for the entire morning...and so many more.

The accommodation was booked in less than 10 mins - the efficiency of a senior engineer with some lack of patience. Haha. 

Next, is the car. She said we can use her car for the trip cos it now has 4 new tyres! (Yay!) AND no radio (Not yay). Hahaha.

I said that's ok, we can enjoy the sounds from the new tyres. Lol! Bringing me to Holland, really.

I was so unsure about this very impromptu trip - planned and booked in 10 mins at 17 hours prior to departure. Only left with a couple of yours to pack and buy the necessities for the hikes. Plus, I haven't been on a trip with her before, tho we've known each other for 5 years or so. She could be quite opinionated, maybe that's a plus since I prefer not to make decisions.

526 km,  6 hours 6 mins.
It took us 7 hours with 2 stopovers.

Not a bad drive after all. It was hard trying to
keep myself awake the whole time though.

I thought of offering to take over the driving task only to find that it's a Manual car. Lol. The last time I operate a manual car was 13 years ago for my driving rest. Sorry, all I can do is to be a responsible co-driver - stay awake and navigate.

Indeed a motel.

My hiking companion.

Rest for now.
Tomorrow will be a challenge. *fingers crossed*

random

it's okay to miss transport. just catch the next one.

Yesterday, the day started off with:

- Missing a bus by 1 min.
- Then waited at home for 11 mins for the next bus only to miss it by 5 secs - what a pain!
- Waited for another 10 mins for the 3rd bus.
- Arrived at the train station with 2 mins left for the train to depart AND all the sleep-walking humans in front of me. People should learn to keep left if they're walking slow or not in a rush. Sigh!
- Missed the train by 3 secs!
- Next train is due in 15 mins.
- Got into the office slightly after 9 am, usually it's before 8.30 am.
- Time spent waiting for transport was 35 mins while time spent on the tranport was 20+ mins - not impressed at all.
- Bumped into a colleague in the lift. As usual, the opening line was, How is it going?
- I was in a state of despair, still couldn't get over the 35 mins. So I replied, 'Bad.'

Hahaha. Yeah, most of the time people expect positive answers but NO, I just couldn't pretend to be positive. He was taken aback by my answer, we were both mute for a moment, then we burst out laughing. I told him, 'Sorry, I missed 2 buses and a train this morning! Aih~ That's 35 mins gone.'

We parted ways when we got into the office.

And then it's the senior's birthday. Hmm...Libra?  Hahaha.
My experience with Librans is they love putting themselves through tough situations, refuse to choose the easy way out.
No wonder he has the tendency to piss me off again and again despite always getting the 'death' stare from me. Being a Libran, I think he enjoys the stares. Hehe.

So in this office, if it's your Birthday, you don't get a cake.
Instead, you have to buy yourself a cake to serve everyone.
If it falls on a public holiday, bring the cake in on the next business day.

Hehe. Guess who is the drama-maker?

Yucky Blackforest.

Today, I couldn't be bothered to check the bus and train timetables.
The more I check, the more I tend to miss them.
Took me 30 mins to get to the office, including 10 mins of waiting time.
Slow and easy.
I realise whenever we try to get precise with timing, we always end up building unnecessary stress.

Ok. No more checking timetables in the morning.

End of story.