flaker

flaker is a new found word

Have you come across someone who is:
     - always if not often late for an appointment
     - turns up late by the same amount of time (say 30 mins), all the time. 
       (Being 'punctually' late by 30 mins every time is a kind of discipline, just missing some ethics and time management skill.)
     - often not punctual that it becomes one of his trademarks;
     - agrees to attend an event/gathering and eventually not turn up because it's perfectly ok to do so
     - cancels at the very last minute, though the gathering was planned weeks ahead

Msians (in Msia) have this mentality that 45mins late is not late YET. 45 is default.
Nobody arrives before time.
Few may be on time (only because the traffic lights decided to turn green throughout), DAMN!
Most would be at least 45mins late.

I used to ALWAYS miss my school bus and had to walk home and knock on my Dad's door to get a lift to school.
And then, he would ALWAYS (deliberately) drive at 10 km/h on local roads, while I panic in the car.

Me: Dad, it's 7.10 am (school starts at 7.30)
Dad: Slowly la...
Me: Are you doing this on purpose?
Dad: It's only being late. No big deal.

I eventually grew up thinking that it's ok to be late. When it's already late, don't rush, take it easy and remain calm. That's the whole point.
Even if it means missing a flight, that's ok, book the next flight out.
We want to get into classes, exams, office, gathering, dinner, etc, in a relaxed manner and the right mood. Not panicking, worrying, sweating, and afraid of getting blamed.
If people are late, that's ok too. At least they turn up.

Then, came a day in 2013, we were supposed to have dinner with a friend who came from inter state. Most of them arrived before the proposed meeting time and got seated immediately. 3 others (including me) were going to be less than 10 mins late.

Then we got a phone call saying that they are seated and there is not enough seat at the table so 3 persons have to sit elsewhere in the restaurant. Freaking Serious??? Wasn't it meant to be dinner with an interstate friend? What's the logic of sitting elsewhere in the restaurant? And by the way, they decided to also place order without the 3 latecomers. Eventually, the latecomers found no reason to turn up any more so we backed out.

It was really a BIG lesson for me. An eye-opening one. It teaches more about being patient, tolerant, flexible, and understanding than teaching about being punctual to the dot. Do you really have to 'punish' people for being late? Like 10 mins? What's the big deal? Socially, you haven't seen worse. If one gets mad with people being late, in the end of the day the mad person is uglier than the late person. This shows how important it is to keep cool at all time.
Because of this lesson, I made it an aim to be 'more' punctual starting 2014 and also more tolerant with people's crazy habits - so there will be one less 'mad ass' on Earth.

Being so attached to punctuality defeats the purpose of the event. It's the process that matters, not how punctual or how early people arrive for the event. I'm not supporting the idea of being late nor am I having no remorse for being late, but the world would be a better place if people can just be less hard on others.

There's also a type of person who always turns up late no matter what, when, where, and how. You could get seated at a restaurant, give he/she a call, and he/she is still home typing an email. This is ethically bad, in my opinion. He/she could have informed me about it so I won't be looking like an idiot.

I know of a person who belongs to this group. (I'll refer to this person as a 'he' because all things beautiful are female and all things bad are male.) Worse thing is when people joke about him being late, he got pissed and quit the chatgroup because he thinks people keep repeating the same old joke when he's not the same late-him anymore. The next thing you know, he is late again and again. Oh well, Hello? Who should be pissed?

And another type who flakes his/her (will just use 'his' from here) way through; failing to commit to his own words and actions. This is ethically VERY BAD. Not something I condone. If you don't mean it, don't agree to it in the first place. As simple as that. Don't take people's trust/kindness/forgiveness/time for granted.

For example, you agreed to attend an event though at the back of your head you really aren't sure about it. You also don't know how to get to the event so you've asked some kind souls to call you and guide you there. And when the kind souls call your mobile, there was no answer. The event ended, you did not show up. Later, you proudly admitted that you're too old for the event. This is just a made-up example, situations along this line happen all the time because there are just too many dickheads around - messing with people around them - deprived of ethics, responsibility, and discipline. 

There's a term for these dickies - they are called flakers. (<<click to understand more from the Urban Dictionary) 

If you are one of them, from today, please do yourself and everyone else a favour - be less flakey and more punctual.