who actually cares

one step at a time

This will be my 9th time moving house in 8.5 years, around 6 different suburbs in Sydney.

Tell me about how troublesome it is to move.
3 weeks notice to pack, organise moving and cleaning, decide where to move to, look for a new place, buy furniture, and now look for a suitable person to share the new place with, or otherwise pay $500/week.
All of these, while coping with a full-time job and a super-PMS admin.

My 10th move better be the last!

Ironically, the ones who are truly worried, offered help, tried to help, and helped, are not the ones closest to me. They are also not the one I spend most of my 'fun' time with.

When there is fun, a bunch of people would show up. When there is problem, only a handful show interest in your problem. Some even think it's funny to joke about it.

When in difficult situation, there are 3 types of people we encounter:
- those who put you in the situation
- those who helped
- those who did nothing or turned you down

Each of these people play a role in educating and making us a better person.
Forgive the first type.
Thank the second type and always be grateful to them.
Say 'it's ok' to the third type; perhaps we don't deserve their help but they still deserve ours.

This time around, it lets me see clearly if I do, never did, or will always be a matter to someone. Thanks to the very few who takes my problem as theirs just so I know I'm not in this alone.
Friends who are there during difficult times are worth keeping.
Friends who only show up during fun times are just as good as strangers.
I don't need so many strangers in my life really.

At the meantime, I shall remind myself: 'If money could solve a problem, it is not a problem anymore'.

Thanks to Dad for this simple slogan which makes every problem seems so small.
Inevitably, money can solve all of the 'problems' associated with moving as listed above.

This is one of life's many challenges - putting my perseverance and friendship to the test.

This too shall pass.

back-stab

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空

One of the simplest approach to a peaceful life is not to interfere with the life or practices of others. 

In other words, leave things/people alone when it's really none of your business.

And if you really can't help but have to voice it, don't use the back-stab approach.

Today's one of those days when I feel like I could win a wrestle with a bull.

I'm like a lioness on guard, ready to pounce.

But the better of me reminded myself to stay calm and composed, I'll be the bigger person today. 

So the admin wrote an email to my leader indicating:

Has she cleared her desk?

1. Her desk is like a garbage dump.

2. I cleared 4 dishes from her desk last weekend and put them in the dishwasher.

3. Office is a place for work and not for cornflakes.

4. blablabla...

The leader did not know how to respond to the admin and did not know how to pass the message on to me so he showed me the email instead.

He certainly underestimated the 'fire' in me. LOL. 

Sleeping volcanoes are the worst when they explode.

So I asked him:

Is there anything to do with her if my desk's messy? 

No wonder the glasses were missing on Monday. I did not ask her to clear that. Why was she removing things from my desk? Why is she complaining after doing things which no one told her to do in the first place?

And what's wrong with having food under the desk? The 'cornflakes' are less of a hazard than the drawers and backpack you guys have under your desk. 

Can't she tell me herself? What's with this email?

He replied: It's ok. It's ok. If that's what she wants......

Very quickly, I threw all the papers (wanted or unwanted) into the paper bin. Food into the drawers, stationery into a paper bag. What's left on the desk now is a keyboard, mouse, glass of plain water, calculator, and a desk phone. Let's see whose desk is more like a dump now. Wtf.

To respond to the 3 points above:

First of all, please be more ethical and not bitch behind people's back especially in a 'professional' working environment.

1. Please have some 'respect' for others and use appropriate words in professional environment. A MESSY desk is not a garbage dump. Does it stink? If it did, does it matter to you given that you're 10 metres or so away. Mine your own business. Do only what's on your job scope. I'm sure it doesn't include 'making sure other people's desk does not look like a dump'.

2. Did you ask permission to remove my 'dishes'? I haven't even raised questions as to why the two glasses of plain water miraculously disappeared over the weekends. PLAIN WATER. Not any food or 'dishes' as you claimed they were. ETHICS 101: Don't touch things which don't belong to you and not on your desk.

3. Office is a place NOT JUST for work. And to correct you, I haven't had cornflakes in decades. See clearly before you start accusing blindly. If I may say, office is also not a place for you to blend your whatever diet juice in the kitchen. Blenders are for home.

And after cleaning, the leader said thanks for cleaning up.

I looked at him from the sides of my eyes and told him: Ya...she better not come near me now, I'll bite.

He then told me, 忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空. Haih, maybe I shouldn't have shown you the email.

Me: If I didn't 忍, I would have confronted her for what she did. Thanks for showing me that email, otherwise I wouldn't know why she was acting funny when I saw her in the kitchen yesterday.

I'll be a forgiver today.

Thanks for the opportunity to train my patience.

sisters

sister is the guardian angel for life

They're the ones who know me inside out, head to toe.

They bear with my weirdest behaviour, lamest jokes, and utter randomness.

They endure my worst farts, worst temper, and silent treatment.

They are the reason how I developed the free and easy habit of leaving home with no cash in my pockets because they have cash in theirs.

They have the best ears (or eyes) when I need to complain just about anything.

They let me be myself without being afraid of being judged.

They are there when all things fail.

We are each other's strengths during the toughest times in life.

We are each other's antidote when one's poisoned by irrationality or overwhelmed with enmities.

We hated each other's bf before because he has taken some of the attentions which belonged to us.

We'd ditch our bf for each other because bfs are 2nd class citizens, sisters are 1st.

We share the same love for cleanliness and tidiness but at times the room could be in a complete mess until someone implodes and starts banging things around, the other will start cleaning obediently.

We share one wardrobe. One size fits all. Though I have the smallest boobs, feet, arms, thighs...=P

We sometimes type in the worst grammars, typos, broken english, and caplang language but there's no problem in understanding each other.

We can communicate through eye contact, body language, and facial expression.

We don't back stab each other, we stab from the front.

We'd walk in the room in our undies, who cares who's undressed and who's fat.

We are careful with our spending but when it comes to spending on each other, we become careless. When I see how others are being calculative with their siblings; down to the cents, I can't help but to feel grateful and thankful for having the most generous sisters one could ask for.

We tell each other the darkest secrets for we know it's the safest place and we won't be judged against.

We compliment each other in many different ways - like how I tend to break the needle of the sewing machine and tangle up the thread in it, they'd fix it up for me. How they freak out at a cockroach, I'd 'settle' it for them. How every piece of pork that big sis hates, ends up on my plate. How all the tofu puffs in the bahkuteh pot, end up on younger sis' plate.

We are made for each other as one is a control freak and one is a follower. I'm the 'whatever, leave me alone'.

When one of us got into trouble, the others would stand up and save the situation.

When one of us needs money, we would say 'Here, take my money'.

When one of us falls down, we'll laugh it off before helping her up.

And so so so so so much more........

Love them to the moon and back! Hugs and mwah!

If you ask if I would replace a sister for anything else in the world, the answer is No, for sister is the best 'thing' ever.

For people who don't have sister, you could still find one in your bestest friend. As people say, best friend is the sister God forgot to give you.

I'm also grateful to have a few of these 'forgotten' sisters in my life.

Suddenly feel like I'm the luckiest person on Earth. :)

guardian angel

just when you think no one's there, someone's watching over you

Last week...
Halfway through work, I took a look at my dear plant and realised.....it looks different.
I examined it closely for a moment to find that it has REAL scar.
Then I lifted the pot and found water vapour beneath it.
Then the pebbles started to look like they've grown bigger and gone loose.
Then the pot seemed to weigh more than before.

W.E.I.R.D.

I looked around to check if someone's actually playing a prank on me.
Everyone was concentrating on their monitor...
I looked at the plant again.
I needed a second opinion on this weird discovery so I invited my senior to come look at the plant.

Me: Do you think it looks REAL?
Senior: Huh? No. Ann said it's fake.
Me: Sure? But it looks real...today. See the scar.
Senior: Haha. No. It's fake. Ann said it's fake. She told me.
Me: It looks REALLYYY real. See hereeeee....

He looked at it very closely.

Senior: But it's rubber. See....(trying to break a leaf)

And the leaf broke!
We both got a shock. Hahaha.
Our eyes were popping out.

Senior: Oh no! Sorry I broke it. Poor thing.
Me: I thought it was fake?
Senior: Ya. What happened?!

And then a 3rd person said...'I think Derek did something to it last night.'

Me: Oh? You saw him coming around here?
3rd: I think so. Yeah.

Ok. That explained everything. Haha.

To add to the irony, we didn't realise it's a completely differently plant and species. We thought it was the same old fake plant with a new 'real' look.

Today, I was told that the manager specially ordered two real pots for me and another lady in the office. He secretly replaced the fake one.

Thank you very much. It makes my Happy Day. :)

not all loving is love

your way of love may not mean love to others,

it may not be the way people want to be loved

I moved this poor tiny succulent to the window to spare it some natural light.
Later, I was told that it's actually a fake plant made of rubber. Haha.

It looks too real to be fake. The plant maker did a great job on this.
Though its weight could have given the clue away, I spared it some benefit of doubts because all I had in mind was to shower it with sunlight.

Now that the truth has uncovered, I still left it by the window because there's where all plants should be (real or fake) - exposed to natural light.

This reminds me of how in life, we tend to show care/love the way we like to or the way we think others might like to be cared for/loved, without considering if it actually hits the right spot.

If it does, both parties are happy.

What if it doesn't?

The receiver feels it's unnecessary.
The giver feels taken for granted.

The receiver feels annoyed.
The giver thinks the receiver isn't appreciative.

The receiver feels constrained.
The giver feels lost.

It's all due to poor understanding of each other's needs/don't-needs and wants/don't-wants.

If the giver and receiver both see care/love from their own perspective only, the over-showering of care/love is effortful but meaningless.

For the giver to note:

Not all care is caring.
Not all caring is care.
Not all love is loving.
Not all loving is love.

For the receiver to note:

Not all neglect is uncaring.
Not all uncaring is neglect.
Not all ignorance is unloving.
Not all unloving is ignorance.

Hope this post rings a bell to random people out there who happen to read it.

Also hope I haven't annoyed my loved ones with 'unnecessary' love.
If I did, do let me know before I accuse you of being ungrateful and unappreciative.

For now, all I could do for this succulent is to wipe dusts off it every other week, which is the only care it needs from me. The sunlight might actually kill it since it's made of rubber - but I still like it by the window. Hehe.

trying not to be racist

old habits die hard but not impossible

Here's one conversation between us, 4 jokers in a tiny office space, back in my previous company.

This tiny space was actually a conference room located behind the receptions; which means, we were indirectly watched by 2 pairs of eyes (receptionists) whenever we walk in and out of the room to the elevator, toilet, morning/afternoon coffee, lunch, go home, etc.

It's up to a point where they could guess if we got our coffee from the cafe in our building or the opposite building or anywhere else in North Sydney - just by timing how long we took to get those coffee.

Out of the blue, a new receptionist, Maria came to temporarily replace Diane who went on a 2 months holiday. The new girl was from the UK and still has thick British accent.

Our little office space was meant to 'exist' only for a couple of months but the project went on longer than expected. The receptionists were getting anxious as well because they ought to know when the room will be vacant for meeting purposes.

One day, Pete (who wasn't familiar with this office as he was not originally from our office) went to get coffee alone. On his way out of the elevator, Maria caught him and they chatted. She asked if we're completing the project any time soon and blablabla...

He entered the room and told us about the conversation he just had with the 'new receptionist'.

Pete: The receptionist says that this is apparently our last week here.

Me: Oh really???

Big: Who receptionist?  How does she know when we don't?

Pete: Ermmm.....not the usual one, the other one?

From Pete's reaction we kinda guessed who he was talking about but we couldn't find the right word to describe this receptionist and we also forgot her name since she was new.

Big: Ohh, the other one? You mean....hmm...the one who is...ermm..

Me: Ok. I think I know which one.

Ron: The one with....

Big: The one who has experienced slightly higher pigmentation than us?

Me: What?! Pigmentation? Lol.

Pete: ....yeh you can say so.

Me: The one with slightly different accent you mean?

Big: (still trying to find the right description) The one who's on a darker shade pallette...well...

Me: Okokok...

Pete: Yeah. You know which one now?

Big: Oh man! I'm not a racist but man it's hard to describe this one. Higher pigmentation? More severely tanned skin? I don't know...

Me: Tanned? Hahaha. I know it's hard. Thanks for trying though. You know in Malaysia, we would have just said BLACK.

Big: Now that's RACIST!

Yeah. Now you know who Maria is.
I've heard people say that Aussies are racist people but I've never really come across any 'serious' ones throughout my 8 years here.
In fact, in Australia, people are educated and civilised enough to make this country the place to be for everyone of all races, cultural, and religion background.
Undeniably, there will be few nasty people around but it happens everywhere we go, not just in Australia.

Thinking back, there are actually more racist people in Malaysia than anywhere else because we are used to using colour, religion, race, cultural practice, etc to describe people whom we come across in daily life.

If you met a slow driver on the road, would you say 'the slow driver's holding up the traffic' or 'the slow CHINESE is holding up the traffic'?

When there was traffic jam around a mosque on Fridays, due to people parking illegally and randomly by the road, would you say 'people who are going to pray are causing this traffic' or 'those MALAYS are causing this traffic'?

It's an ongoing issue in Malaysia where people put colour on every skin and race on every person. They don't realise they are actually practising racism in everyday life by doing so. Perhaps they realise but they don't think it's an issue.

Even the ministers always stress on how the Chinese are doing blablabla to the Malays, how the Indians are blablabla to the Chinese, the Malays are blablabla, etc........
Each time an issue happens, all they see are colours.
So good, they could pass all the colour-blind tests.
Curb the problem, not the races!
Is Malaysia ONE country, or 3 countries combined into one?
Are there 3 leaders to represent 3 different races or just one leader for ALL?
Would this ever come to an end for Malaysia?
Would you ever want to develop and grow out of this never-ending issue?

From today, practise mindfulness in your speech.
Take out the malay, chinese, indian, amoi, keling, bangla, black, white, from your every day sentence.
If you really have to use it, give a heads up that you're gonna use it and disclaim why you have to use it (shows that you're aware and not using it for racist remark).
Don't complain about racist people when you're one of the many out there.

A better tomorrow always starts from no one but yourself.

taste of love

postbox's for posting 'love' too

Some fig biscuits showed up in my postbox!
Am not a big fan of figs but no harm trying to love it just for the taste of 'love'.
It's not the relationship kind of love I'm talking about here...

'Friendship love'...
It's volatile, vulnerable, rare, selective.........
All in all, enjoy while it lasts.